Lawrence Taylor is a douche nozzle. This revelation shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone who has followed his post-NFL career, but I felt like it needed to be said.
In case you’ve been in seclusion the last couple days, L.T. is back in the spotlight. The Hall of Fame player was sentenced this week to six years probation for doing the nasty with a 16-year-old prostitute. Classy, huh?
I wish I could say this is the first time he’s engaged the services of a ho, but it’s not. He admitted that on several occasions that between 1994 and 2001 (when he wasn’t married) that he regularly solicited the services of working girls.
He appeared on FOX News after the sentencing and had this to say about the “incident”.
“That’s not my M.O. I’ve been around kids and people all my life. I’m not the cause of prostitution. And sometimes I make mistakes and I may go out there. And I didn’t go pick her up on no playground. She wasn’t hiding behind the school bus or getting off a school bus. This is a working girl that came to my room.”
I guess it’s good to know that a 52-year-old married man isn’t trolling playgrounds. I mean, it’s definitely good to know, but it doesn’t really excuse him for what he did. Does it?
I’m not one who engages the services of prostitutes, but if I did, L.T. would definitely be my go-to guy on the subject. Why? Check out this quote from FOX.
“It’s the world of prostitution. You never know what you’re gonna get. Is it gonna be a pretty girl, an ugly girl or whatever it’s gonna be.”
He was then asked, “Or a young girl?” His response may be my new favorite quote. (Not because I agree with it, but because it is so totally outrageous.)
“You can only ask. I don’t card them. I don’t ask for a birth certificate.”
“I don’t card them”? Is that his defense? Lawrence Taylor doesn’t card his prostitutes, so that makes it OK to have sex with a 16-year-old? Holy shit, this guy is a bigger loser than I thought he was! And I already thought dude was a huge loser.
Why did Taylor seek the services of a prostitute? His answer is truly awesome.
“It happens sometimes. I’d been on the road 10 or 11 days and I came in to town. Actually, I made a phone call to a friend of mine, and he made a phone call. I’m not looking for a relationship. Hey, sometimes I look for some company. It’s all clean. I don’t have to worry about your feelings. It’s all clean. I’m not saying it’s right. It’s the oldest profession in the world.
“It’s all clean?” Seriously? As I mentioned earlier, I don’t know about prostitution firsthand, but I think it’s safe to assume the majority of prostitutes aren’t clean. I mean, they may take a shower, but who knows what the hell is living down there, ya know?
I also love his “I’d been on the road 10 or 11 days” comment. If he was that hard up (pun totally intended) he could have called his wife and had some phone sex or hopped on Skype and had some naked fun with her. Not that I’ve ever done that. A friend told me.
I wish I could tell you this was L.T.’s first brush with the law, but it’s not. As a player he was suspended several times for failing drug tests and his coke habit escalated after his playing days.
He was jailed three times for attempting to buy coke from undercover police officers. THREE TIMES!!! How the hell does he not learn after the first time he buys from a narc? He admitted that “at his peak” he was spending thousands of dollars a day on drugs. I’m not an expert on cocaine, but I assume that thousands of dollars a day is an enormous amount of blow. It’s a wonder the dude has anything left on the inside of his nose.
Dude got six years probation and will have to register as a sex offender. What level sex offender he will be deemed is still being discussed, but suffice it to say, dude is a loser. I’d be interested to know if he feels the $300 he spent on her was money well spent.
In case you’re wondering why he avoided jail time, it’s because he has been “helpful” in other cases, including turning on the 16-year-old’s pimp. He’s actually more worried about facing his third wife than he is the legal system. Yeah, you read that right. L.T. is on his third wife. What a shock.