Explore the Secrets to a Long-Distance Relationship

Relationships take energy, time, and commitment to make them work. Add distance and you double the complications. A committed couple can make a long-distance relationship work if both parties want the connection. If you started in person and then moved away due to jobs or career, you can use the tips to help you stay strongly connected. If you met online and have not yet met, these tips can still help you build a real connection, so when you meet in person you’ll feel the bond immediately.

Try these techniques to keep in touch and help your relationship thrive:

Establish guidelines for contact.

Make it a point to establish guidelines for how you’ll contact each other early in the relationship. One of the most common concerns voiced by couples is working out a schedule.

• Will you call or email each other every day? How about once a week? It’s crucial for both of you are clear on how often you’ll speak with each other so neither of you have mistaken expectations. Expecting a contact and not getting it can lead to hurt feelings.
• The way you contact each other is also important. Will you rely on your phones, send emails, or do online video chats like Skype, FaceTime, or Zoom.

Discuss concerns as they arise.

Instead of waiting to talk about issues, try to discuss them right away to avoid resentment and anger. Long-distance relationships thrive on honesty and respect.

• Clear communication is essential for maintaining a relationship.
• If either of you feel uncomfortable about the behaviors of the other, by all means, share your thoughts without accusatory statements. Come from the approach of how you feel: “I feel left out when you post pictures of you hanging with friends, mostly women (or guys), which look like you are dating.” or “I feel hurt when you say you’ll call me at 10 PM, and you don’t. The next thing I see is you were with other people and didn’t even let me know.”

Discuss your goals.

Distance in a relationship can change both people. Are your goals still the same?

• Discussing your goals can help you establish a stronger relationship.
• Do you plan to move back together? Do you want to get married eventually?
• Serious discussions about your future are essential. However, you’ll also want to talk about fun plans. The next time you see each other, what do you plan to do? Consider making reservations for a spectacular day or night of dining, dancing, and entertainment.

Create activities together to build connection.

Take some time to watch some of the same TV shows, read some of the same books, and spend time. You’ll want to have some common interests. Common interests form deeper bonds in relationships. Couples who share similar ideas are more likely to stay together.

• You can still enjoy multiple television shows and books, but reading and watching several of them together will give you more topics to discuss.
• On different social media platforms you can create a watching room, or open up a Zoom and watch the movie together via your computer screen.
• Workout together! Set up your Zoom or other live web source and work out. Laugh and listen to crazy music while you both do your own thing while talking, boosting each other up, and staying fit while connecting.

Get creative.

Talking to each other every day can get boring, so it’s important to come up with creative ways to communicate.

• Send your loved one a unique card or draw a picture (if you are creative).
• Create a short video of your favorite moments together and get other family members to participate.
• Sing a song and record it for your love.

Use snail mail for a change

Send things through the mail on occasion. The element of surprise can help add sparks to a relationship. Send flowers by calling a local florist and surprising your partner at work or at home.

• Online communication is best for daily interactions. However, sending things through the post office on occasion can add a fun factor to the relationship. Cards, letters, photos, and other gifts are easy to mail.
• Set up a story. Write a start to a story and mail it in segments so they get part of the story every couple days. Make it fun and silly. Bait your partner to want to know what happens next. The idea helps writers get creative with their journalist partners.

Visit each other frequently.

One of the best ways to maintain a long-distance relationship is to see each other as often as possible.

• Depending on the distance between you, visits can be expensive. You may want to meet in the middle and save travel costs by reducing the total distance.
• Take turns with visiting. If you see each other every three months, you can trade off times so you see each other more frequently. For instance, if three months is too long, one can come at two months, you go at three months, and then you’ll only have one month between visits.
• However, if you live 2500+ miles away, that arrangement may not work out. In that case, spend a week or two together and decide if this distance thing is what you want to pursue.

Discuss family and friends.

Conversations about your family and friends can help you form stronger bonds. You’ll learn more about each other in the process. Share friends and when you get together you can spend time with groups. This helps to build solid connections, which help keep the relationship bright and real.

• Sometimes finding new topics to discuss every day can be tricky. You already talked about your work, pets, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• What else can you talk about and share? The lives of friends and family can provide ample material for conversations.
• Once you know each other’s likes or dislikes you can share the ideas you have for a book, a course you are taking, or what hobbies you have been working on every day. These types of things help us stay focused and give us something to talk about when we feel like we have talked about everything.
• Remember, you can share your feelings, too. Both men and women can open up and share the struggles they face and victories they have.

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You can enjoy a long-distance relationship and make it last. These relationships just need special care and attention to thrive. As you work to build a connection with your partner, recognize distance is different than face-to-face relationships. You’ll need to pay attention to maintaining the connection and the time together. Stay strong and focused. You can make your relationship successful.

~Just a thought by Pamela

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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