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I’ve wanted to write an article about marriage and why it gives men the “shakes” for quite some time now. Though debatable and controversial, marriage can make some men nervous as hell for a variety of different reasons. Sometimes as if it’s going to be the end of their life or expose some type of lifelong corruption or something. I get the uncertainty of the future in any relationship and understand the entire landscape of marriage but some guys are just spooked to the idea.
I’m a married man and I started taking note of some of the things that were happening not only around me but through conversations with a variety of people. It appears to me that marriage wears a hockey mask with machete or even a brown hat, red and black dingy sweater with blades as fingertips. To some men, it’s a horror story with many compadres not making it through the bad times.
Responsibility
Marriage and responsibility clash because if you are not willing to have a leadership position during a union then you are setting yourself up for failure. When I hear people say that they are “not ready for that type of responsibility” right now then, by all means, do not get married! Save yourself and the other person a load of headaches and heartaches.
Taking a position of controlling a situation can sometimes frighten men to the point of establishing negativity feelings towards marriage. I know it sounds a bit silly when you think about it but it’s true. Responsibility can scare the hell out of men from tying the knot too!
Finances
I’ve talked to men who were thinking about getting married and they told me that their finances were an obstacle. That’s understandable because going into a situation were your funds are not applicable can definitely put a strain on marriage very quickly.
To the contrary, I’ve had discussions where men were so worried about asset protection. That is understandable because you never know what could happen that could lead to separation or even a divorce.
The most comical is the fella that is worried about the financial aspect of it as if he is protecting his $1,000,000 portfolio but makes $18K (or less) annually! Before some of you get emotional or let your blood pressure go up, I’m not making fun of a particular wage but making the correlation of the wage to FEAR.
Sense of Embarrassment
By nature, we are people pleasers and want to be liked and marriage is the same. The thought of being married can be embarrassing because most people care about what others think. It could be pressure from family or friends to ignite those feelings. Your Mom hates your fiance and your friends see that you won’t be bar hopping with them anytime soon. At least it can often times appear this way which can be a reason why marriage makes some men nervous as well.
Divorce Can Be Too Emotional
People get married most of the time because they love their mate and expect to be with them “until death.” No one wants to be hurt in any way from marriage because it can be an emotional roller coaster for everyone involved. I think we can all at least agree with that assumption.
According to the CDC, about half of all marriages end in divorce and that alone may scare some men away. Now that I really think about those statistics, women might shy away from tying the knot too. Ending a relationship of any type has its downfalls but divorce can be even tougher for many reasons.
False Sense that Life ‘Stops’
I mentioned previously about not bar hopping with the fellas anymore. Sometimes that false sense that life has ended can creep into the psyche of men as a reason why they will never get married. Trust me it’s total BS to think that life has ended because you just got shacked up…LOL! The “Ole Ball and Chain” is going to stop everything when you get married is so phony. Your relationship with your mate will be the most important thing to how your life will go and most importantly: You will determine your future (or at least 50% of it, right?).
Can’t Give Up The Current Life (chasing women, Freedom, etc.)
Being younger and living it up was fun for me before I met my wife and got married. I won’t get into the details but I had a LOT of fun! Don’t let her read this either…HHAAAAAAA! Just kidding but it was life, very real and so fun because I felt FREE, just like anyone experiences life before it became serious.
Giving up the life of doing what you want to do for the good of two or more people (starting a family) can be difficult. Often times I refer to these times as “The Most Selfish” times in the history of mankind because of the difficult degree for people to make that adjustment. And for the most part, people are so damn selfish or were so damn selfish (present company included I can admit).
Why Do You Think Men Are Fearful Of Marriage?
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