A life-altering sports injury while traveling in Australia many years ago and the onset of chronic pain eventually led me to an inner exploration and my spiritual path of Kabbalah. One of the hidden gems within this excruciating time in my life was that I was pushed to the edge until I found my voice and true passion, and I created a band called My Silent Bravery. My Silent Bravery symbolizes persistence, perseverance and inner strength to overcome obstacles in the face of adversity. Over time, I have been able to heal the inner and outer pain, and through my own “dark night of the soul, I have arrived at a place where I am able to pay it forward.
For just over a year, I have been fortunate to host a weekly Facebook Live program that is in part viewed by my fan base, the “Bravehearts”. The “Bravehearts” are primarily females who have found this format and our time together a safe place to share their struggles and breakthroughs. Last week during the program, we were having a conversation about a 15-year old girl who has cancer. As you can imagine, it was a time of deep connection and support—a heart to heart conversation.
On this 55th consecutive week of our gathering together, I suddenly noticed an upsurge of new people who had never previously joined our conversation. Imagine my dismay when I realized that we had been crudely disrupted by a “couch auction”. For those who may be unfamiliar, Urban Dictionary defines a “couch auction” as “a group of Facebook trolls who find random live streams and ask about an imaginary couch they are selling. …when these trolls come in numbers of 20+, they are powerful. They will call the broadcaster the opposite gender to anger them more. These trolls will send messages like: “Am I too late for the couch auction?” “Young man/lady, did you sell the couch yet?” “Hi, is the couch still for sale?” “Hello, I saw a Craigslist ad that said you were selling a couch.” “Show us the couch little girl/boy.” “Shoe on head”. The only way to fend these trolls off is putting a shoe on your head. They take a screenshot, put it in their troll group, then leave.”
What I know for sure is that we can’t allow bullies and their charades of false bravado to control or dominate us.
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This sudden harassment in the midst of a sincere conversation with my audience brought up feelings of helplessness in how to respond quickly and feelings of being bullied and violated. It was obvious to me that this disrespectful group had shown up to instigate fear. I was aware that my fans were feeling similarly—it was an offensive invasion of privacy.
Cyber bullying or any form of bullying is a cowardly act of violence. As I contemplate the subject of bullying, I can only believe that it’s rooted in deep insecurity and a misguided cry for attention.
This unexpected incident reminded me why I wrote and produced my single and music video “Can’t Quit”. I invite you to view it here:
“Can’t Quit” is available on iTunes, Amazon, Google Play, and Spotify.
Matthew Wade of My Silent Bravery from the music video “Can’t Quit”
What I know for sure is that we can’t allow bullies and their charades of false bravado to control or dominate us. We can’t allow them to detract us from being open-hearted or from our trust in basic human goodness. We can’t allow them to shake our self-confidence or cause us to question our self-worth. We can’t allow them to wreak havoc on our inner goodness and real strength. When they play the role of bully, they are really showing us their lack of strength—their weakness, their lack of self-worth and self-respect; and thus, their inability in that moment to respect others.
As I further contemplate bullying, I ask myself, “What happened in that person’s life to create their need to bully?” How do we as human beings see beyond bullying into the divine nature that lies within each of us?
Ultimately, I believe that we live in a benevolent Universe and that everything that happens is for our own personal development. So, we learn from every situation—we don’t get stuck in bitterness. While we are here on this earth and on our individual divine adventures journeying through life, we give it our all! We can’t quit.
Have you been bullied? I invite you to share with me your experiences and what you’ve learned through these confrontations. How can we, as men and women in The Good Men Project, contribute to changing the bullying dynamic?
Lyrics for “Can’t Quit” by My Silent Bravery
It’s been a long day
I’ll say, “Can’t anything go my way?”
So, I close my eyes, and now I pray
Someday, it’ll go the way I’ve been imagining it all, in my head
But I can’t, can’t quit
And I won’t throw the towel in
My legs may cave in
But I’m going out swinging
Until the death of me, with every breath of me
I give it everything
I’m gonna give it my all
I’m gonna give it my all
Some days, my willpower fades
My heart feels it’s age
As the rain washed out the flame
Hope the spark inside never fades
But I can’t, can’t quit
And I won’t throw the towel in
My legs may cave in
But I’m going out swinging
Until the death of me, with every breath of me
I give it everything
I’m gonna give it my all
I’m gonna give it my all
And when the doubts creep in
Sneak into my head
I need to look within and change
The way I think
But I can’t, can’t quit
I’m going out swinging
Until the death of me, with every breath of me
I give it everything
I’m gonna give it my all
I’m gonna give it my all
Until the death of me, I’m chasin’ destiny
It’s slowly catchin’ me
I’m gonna give it my all
I’m gonna give it my all
Until the death of me, with every breath of me
I give it everything
I’m gonna give it my all
I’m gonna give it my all
Until the death of me, I’m chasin’ destiny
It’s slowly catchin’ me
I’m gonna give it my all
I’m gonna give it my all
Photos courtesy of My Silent Bravery. The young boy whose photograph is shown here is featured in the music video “Can’t Quit”. He has personally experienced bullying, and has only become stronger through this experience.
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I actually saw that segment. I’m sorry that happened and I believe you handled it well. I also believe the fact that it did happen was only to benefit you and the Bravehearts that follow you. As a result of that incident, you are now sending a bigger message to a wider audience.
Keep up the great work. Don’t Quit!