The following video—of a man being attacked by two teenagers in a metro station—is very disturbing.
One, because everything happened so fast, two; because the teenagers picked on a random person; and three, because no one helped.
Since last month, I’ve been on a mission to encourage people to think about what their options are when faced with someone verbally bullying or abusing them.
Most of us don’t have a clue what to do.
We don’t expect to be mistreated. We’re shocked when something happens. Then we spend too much time thinking that somehow we brought this situation on ourselves.
Worst of all, we don’t ask for help.
When someone else is being bullied, our resolve is really put to the test.
What would you do if you found yourself in this situation—either as the person being attacked or as a person witnessing the event?
From your point of view, was this man supposed to hit back?
I’m digging deeply into the subject of how people stand up for themselves and, conversely, how we don’t stand up for ourselves and others. If you have experiences you’d like to share or other examples on video, please send them to me or leave the information in a comment on this post.
—Photo via SeeMidTN.com (aka Brent)/Flickr
I would ask the female bystanders why they aren’t doing anything.
Denis,
Are you suggesting that the women should have stepped up and intervened even though there were men around? You bring up the dilemma we face when trying to determine the right thing to do in the heat of the moment. Women stopping other women from fighting – is that an unwritten rule? This all gets very confusing, doesn’t it?
I recently witnessed two men beginning to get into an altercation after a very minor car accident in a Walmart parking lot. One driver got out of his car and grabbed the steering wheel of the driver who had hit him (he thought he would drive off), at which point that driver rushed to get out of the car. I ran over and stood between them and pulled one of them away as gently as I could. i then talked them into getting out of the roadway, parking on the side and not talk to each other as they waited… Read more »
Hi Luis,
Clear thinking under pressure saved the day in both of the situations you described. Each of us has to decide what we’re willing to risk and how capable we think we are of effecting a peaceful outcome or if we have the skills or power to interrupt an attack. Your martial arts training is evident in how you approached each incident. You’re a good man to have around 🙂
It may be difficult, but people need to defend themselves, vigorously, and well.
Learning to fight back, raises one’s self esteem, making them less of a target, and puts them in a position to better care for their loved ones as well.
Pretending that law enforcement will protect you is a fantasy; one must take responsibility for their own protection, whatever that looks like.
Agreed
Hi Anthony,
Law enforcement can’t get there fast enough. Things happen too quickly. I agree with you. Each person must take responsibility for their own protection.
I am in complete agreement on this. The idea that one can wait out a situation until police arrive is absurd. A lot can happen in the minutes it takes police to arrive. God forbid something happen outside of their vicinity.
I am scrawny, and in a fight, I am going to be at a huge disadvantage unless I am trained. Evolution has taught us fight or flight, not “take a beating”. We must protect ourselves and our loved ones with righteous resolve.
Back in 2000, I was attacked at gunpoint by three guys. As they rifled through my pockets and tried to pry my watch from my arm, I snapped (years of unresolved adolescent bullying, I guess) and fought back. A shouting match ensued as we played a tug of war for my wallet (they only got the detachable business card part), and they pistol whipped me. I checked my wallet for my credit cards—which were all there—and proceeded to chase them. Had it not been for the cab that prevented me from crossing the street, I’d have still gone after them.… Read more »
Hi Lawrence,
I think you’re very brave. You’ve considered the consequences and decided where you draw the line. Plus, you have lived to tell the tale with your incredible experiences. Both you and your stylish canine have the right to walk about undisturbed. Good for Lizzie for joining in and doing her part to protect you. Lizzie’s barking created a deflection – just like a parry in boxing. Well done!