Kevin Hall reflects on the impact of the xoJane suicide article
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On Thursday, xoJane published an essay titled “My Former Friend’s Death Was a Blessing: Some people are so sick, they are beyond help.” Backlash saw first the byline, then the article itself removed. It has been replaced with an apology.
Richard Juzwiak wrote in Gawker that a reader of the personal-essay-gone-bad might think: “It’s hopeless for me. If I were dead, someone would probably write that I’m better off this way. I might as well not get treatment. Might as well just die.”
Those on the brink of suicide are indeed that fragile. Reading the words, “Some people are so sick, they are beyond help,” could easily be the second to last thing that a person close to actioning suicidal thoughts ever does.
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Those on the brink of suicide are indeed that fragile. Reading the words, “Some people are so sick, they are beyond help,” could easily be the second to last thing that a person close to actioning suicidal thoughts ever does.
Juzwiak goes on to admit his position on writer Amanda Lauren’s intentions shifted, after a phone conversation in which Lauren said, “I just feel so bad that her life was so filled with suffering and I just hope she’s in a better place. That’s all I meant.”
However, Lauren now has engagements planned with Fox and Friends and Dr. Drew’s radio show. According to Stassa Edwards, writing for Jezebel, Lauren also received inquiries from England’s ITV network and even Good Morning America.
Lauren’s essay has sparked re-sharing of community-building, appropriate responses. It has sparked scorn. It has sparked thoughtful pieces. It has sparked this and other meta-commentary.
The entire spectacle highlights how difficult and subtle writing about mental illness can be.
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The entire spectacle highlights how difficult and subtle writing about mental illness can be. Lauren starts out reflective, then briefly self-recriminates for exploiting an awful situation, but immediately shifts to eulogy. “But the person she became wasn’t really her. It was as if mental illness took demonic possession over her. The real Leah had a beautiful heart. She was caring and a good listener.” Lauren’s essay lists the many ways “Leah” (a pseudonym) was trying to communicate how much she was struggling, how much she was suffering.
Lauren’s care for the deceased is overshadowed by how much suffering she apparently endured due to Leah’s behavior. This is where the rubber meets the road between those who have mental illness and those who don’t. Lauren writes “I felt like Leah’s death was inevitable. Every box for being a danger to yourself or someone else was checked.” (The original essay is viewable on the Wayback Machine)
That Leah likely lived with the knowledge that people in her life felt that way was indeed may have felt like a death sentence.
Photo by Felipe Mebarak