An open letter to men that women need to read too.
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I just wanted you to feel something. Anything. Show me you have feelings. That I’m not crazy for having so many. Show me you’re real. That there is something inside.
I don’t want to love you “just because.” I want to connect. I want to feel deeply connected to you and I don’t feel that way when you don’t get vulnerable with me.
I have spent my whole life trying to penetrate your hard shell and find the cushy inside.
I already know you’re solid and strong. Now I want to see your softness. Trust me, it’s not weakness.
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I want to see you cry.
To breakdown.
To feel your pain.
Your anxiety and depression are just all those feelings trapped inside of you. Don’t you see?
I’d love to see you hit something. Smash the shit out of something until you fall to the floor in total surrender to your pain.
I already know you’re solid and strong. Now I want to see your softness. Trust me, it’s not weakness. It’s beautiful. It is the place I love in you. The place my true respect for you comes from. The place where I can connect to you as a human, flawed and broken and love you anyways.
I am learning how courageous and beautiful it is to see a man be vulnerable in the world. It gives me hope and faith that we will all be okay.
Women NEED men. We need the fathers we never had. The support we’ve pushed away and the love we don’t know how to receive.
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I’ve never felt more supported or loved in my life. The men around me are incredible.
I had this vision. I want to get women together to love and support men instead of making them wrong, blaming or shaming them.
Now is the time.
We need to come together as humans with love for each other so we can really grow and flourish here.
Our time is short.
Women NEED men. We need the fathers we never had. The support we’ve pushed away and the love we don’t know how to receive.
We have to open and let them in; let them love us.
It’s time to stop making them wrong. Stop putting all the responsibility on them. We need to own our shit ladies. Our manipulation, our neediness. We need to let go of abusive relationships and thinking we deserve treatment not in alignment with love. We need to own our needs. To communicate and learn to love every man, not just one.
To see a man in all his glory.
To let him be hurt too.
To stop trying to “get” things from him.
This is where the healing happens.
I am grateful to be surrounded by highly intelligent, powerful, soft, vulnerable, sexy, fun, strong and creative men.
I am learning to open my heart.
I am learning to love without expectations or a desired outcome.
This could be the grandest love affair of my life.
I am in love with all men.
In total admiration.
I appreciate them, respect their bravery, and courage.
We need them, for us to rise.
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Originally published on Medium.
Photo:Pixabay
Anyone else besides me want to chime In on how fast a girl will dump your ass if you show your ‘softer side’ – it is so predictable, when I want a girl to leave – I will let her read the poetry I have written about her, without fail – she will be gone in a week. I have used the tactic over a dozen times. For all the ” oh I wish for Romantic man ” it is patentedly bullshit. And if you cry in front of a girl, you will never live that shit down. I had… Read more »
As a rebuttal, my wife held my hand while I cried for many reasons, sometimes the pain is just too much to keep it in.
16 years in May.
Nolan, she’s definitely a ‘keeper’ congrats! she’s also very rare. This was a very sweet essay. Yeah, definitely brought a smile to my face, but it’s also fiction. A “wouldn’t be nice if” kind of story. Yes, I’m sure there are a few women around like Mrs. Nolan , I’ve just never been fortunate enough to meet any in my life.