Mental health advocate Jasmin Pierre speaks out on how depression affects men.
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In our society, men are often overlooked when it comes to their mental health.
Men are expected to be strong. They’re expected to be the bread winners of the family and to show little emotion. Men are to hold back their tears. They shouldn’t tell you they’re down and suffering through hard times. I’ve noticed throughout my life that a lot of men I’ve been close to have held their emotions inside rather than express what they are enduring. This frustrated and saddened me. It also got me wondering, why do they do this?
One time, out of curiosity, I asked a man I knew well, “Why do you guys do that? Why is it so hard express what’s going on?”
He turned to me and told me matter-of-factly:
“Because men aren’t supposed to show weaknesses.”
This statement is loaded with so much societal baggage. Outward expression of sadness is considered a weakness. That is what is inferred in this sentence.
Chances are you’ve heard these sayings in relation to men and masculine emotions:
“Man up.”
“Stop crying and be a man about it.”
Apparently, men are supposed to show strength in an outward manner. However, I challenge that notion. We need to remember that men hurt just like anyone else. Men are human beings and humans display a wide array or emotions – sadness, anger, joy and fear. Men are capable of experiencing all of these.
Imagine how a man who is going through depression may feel. With the stigma already surrounding mental illness and around men never being able to reveal their true feelings, it’s no wonder they wouldn’t tell anyone what’s going on
No wonder men suffering with depression are four times more likely to attempt suicide than women.
Remember that male mental health matters. It’s a shame that so many men have to suffer in silence for the fear of being ridiculed. I want the men out there to know it’s okay not to be okay. And more importantly, it’s also ok to go and get help. Depression is far more than just emotional stress; it’s a serious illness. Men: understand this – your lives matter. Your mental health matters.
Below are three common depression symptoms to look out for in men. If you or a man you know is suffering from depression please advise them to get help.
1. Physical pain: such as backache, frequent headaches, sleep problems, sexual dysfunction, or digestive disorders— treatment.
2. Anger
3. Reckless behavior
Many men are fearful to reach out for help when they are depressed because of the stigma of depression and masculinity. We need to encourage the men in our lives to reach out for help when they are experiencing the symptoms of depression. Depression is an illness, just like cancer or heart disease. If you recognize the symptoms of depression in a man in your life, encourage him to get help. It could save his life.
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Photo Credit: Stephen Arnold/Unsplash
Wonderful piece, Jasmin.
I appreciate your putting this out there for men but you have to be very careful in so far as diagnosis. There are other symptoms and obviously they will be different for everyone. And given the fact there are different types of depression, we should encourage men to simply seek help when thy notice a difference in how they feel. If any male friend is worth his weight then he should respond to his friend in kind and help him if he sees a change in behaviors. There isn’t a sudden onset of depression, it’s gradual and because it can… Read more »