Ten tips to motivate your child to become an independent thinker and make healthy decisions.
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In a world where we live for followers, likes, tweets and more, how do we raise kids to be independent thinkers?
1. Encourage Questions
Don’t answer every question, instead ask what your child what he or she thinks. Asking questions stimulates conversation between you and your son or daughter.
2. Don’t Criticize
Criticism invites low self-esteem. Children feel that they have failed or disappointed their parents when they are criticized. Find alternate ways of correcting the problem. A child will likely shut down communication if they feel that their parents are not supportive—and this behavior can haunt them as they grow and mature.
3. Respect Your Child’s Opinions
Your child is not your parrot or puppet. Although it is difficult to accept at times, it is normal and healthy for your child to have his own opinion. Boys and girls who are confident in expressing their opinions are less likely to succumb to peer pressure.
4. Teach Your Children To Embrace Diversity
Encourage your child to learn about different cultures and ethnicities. A well-informed child will understand and respect other people’s values.
5. Teach Your Sons and Daughters To Set Personal Boundaries
Boys need to have their personal space respected in order for them to respect other people’s personal space. The same goes for girls. Help your child establish boundaries and make sure to enforce your boundaries.
6. Establish A Nurturing Environment
Children thrive in environments in which they know they are loved and respected. Remind your children every day that you love and support them.
7. Understand Your Child’s Thought Process
In order for you to be an advocate for your child, you must know and understand how they learn. Is he or she a creative, logical, musical, spatial, interpersonal, intrapersonal, or naturalistic learner? Seek with curiosity your child’s own unique capabilities and accept his or her creativity.
8. Don’t Think For Your Child
Encourage independent thinking. Let your son or daughter decide (within reason) what is appropriate. Let them make choices. Give him or her enough room to make decisions, but also be there in case plans don’t work out.
9. Teach Your Child Stress Management Skills
Help your children to effectively deal with stress. Try not to contribute to his or her stress with demands and unrealistic expectations. Make learning fun!
10. Teach Your Child To Trust His or Her Instincts
In order for boys and girls to be successful in life, they must learn how to trust their decisions. Your child needs to be confident in trusting his or her instincts. Boys and girls who trust their own decisions—and understand how to make good ones—are less likely to participate in unhealthy behaviors.
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A version of this post originally appeared at Raising Great Men.com
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Photo: JeanLouis_Zimmermann/Flickr
Always be in the habit of encouraging your children and stop stressing them up with your misfortune.
My only criticism is point number two: “Don’t criticise your child”. Criticism is a valid and important tool that everyone has to learn to deal with. Not all criticism is negative and sometimes we need negative criticism as well.
I think this point is lacking any nuance and needs a bit of elaboration.
I agree, this should be aimed at both sexes. This isn’t 1950’s.
As Terri Hemker and Michael Heister have also commented, we should be teaching this to both boys and girls. All children need to learn how to think critically, and every point made in the article applies equally to girls. Please don’t imply by your article that boys need to be brought up differently from girls!
*CHILD
I know this is the good MAN project, but I’ve read enough of your articles to know this one is just being kind of sexist.
Kinda sounds like good things to teach boys AND girls.
What about teaching critical thinking to your daughters? All dads and moms should do that, too! 🙂
Tell your son don’t let other people tell him that he is not paid to think because that is what the military tell their people all the time and it is also done in the private sector.
Trusting your instincts is not engaging your critical thinking. Instincts are far too often wrong.
“A well informed boy will understand and respect other people’s values.”
I don’t really know if that is true.