What happens when men stop showing up in a relationship, even when they’re still physically present?
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I went through this with a man I’d lived with for a few years. About halfway through our five year relationship, he just went cold on me. Criticized all the time, avoided meaningful interaction, stopped wanting to have sex, and eventually moved into the office and then into the garage. I kept asking him what was wrong and he wouldn’t talk to me. Eventually my mother, seeing how miserable I was after months and months of this, told him she was taking me home with her. I’ve never seen a bigger sigh of relief on a man’s face in my… Read more »
As a woman scientist. I couldn’t get past the silliness from the first few sentences. There is more scientific evidence that points to the female energy being highly focus / multi tasking/ driven/ results oriented /intuitive if one would feel the need to label human thought processes those should be labeled feminine. -(why one would choose to add that limiting factor seems pointless to me) Just educate yourself on more recent data before making videos
As simple as it sounds(to women, anyway) you are the first man I’ve ever heard to admit this very issue. For many years, I’ve been saying to my significant other, “I’m not feeling you.” He sits in silence. Everytime. Never asks me to elaborate, so I don’t. He’s a manly man. An asshole in a way. And honestly, the obvious peacock show of testosterone is what has always attracted me to him. I admire and respect his masculinity. I embrace and enjoy him. His strength. His muscles! But this very issue of not connecting has kept us from marriage for… Read more »
Not great at getting to the point. I checked out abou half way through the video. A little less padding a lot more to the point and maybe I might listen to all the way through. thank you anyway.
So…completely disagree!!! Why do we trying to feminize men? Men don’t want to connect or do any Of that!!! breathe really??? How about a video where we just tell women, men don’t listen, they don’t connect, if it’s not a problem to be solved call your girlfriend!!! The ‘few’ men that get all this connection and listening stuff wreck it for the rest of the ‘normal’ men or are usually well gay! So let’s just let men be men and stop telling women that what men are doing is wrong
You can be deeply masculine AND be fully present to your and your woman’s emotions.
Yes….maybe but it should not become a requirement. By making this video that is what you are doing. ‘Oh this man gets it why don’t you…well honey this guy ruins it for the rest of us’. A man who puts bread on the table, helps raise his kids, doesn’t beat his wife, gets drunk or commits adultry is fulfilling his role as a husband. Dating his wife, connecting with her etc should not be a requirement in marriage. That is that Shakespeare crap that our modern generation has assumed as the standard yet no one can reach that standard. Romance… Read more »
Yeah.. noway in any shape or form will this happen.. my “man” never was or will be able to connect. He is not connected to himself. Therefore he will never connect with me.. im now much to torn to even try in any remote aspect. when he sees this he “pretends” with a facade to draw me closer until he gets what he wants. Yet when its time to do for me .. its always a tomorrow. Tomorrow never will come. im torn. Im confused & im burnt for him. For myself or anyone ever again.. my mind is on… Read more »
I finally admitted after a 25 year marriage that the man I was married to would never attempt to meet my emotional needs. I think it was a form of control. After ending the marriage a wonderful man entered my life and we are getting married in October. He is everything I had given up on. I guess I would just say don’t wait 25 years like I did!
I wish GMP would find more authors like Hillary Lauren and Heather Gray.
It is the messages of these women that we men crave.
Ms. Lauren’s article is titled ‘It’s Your Turn To Talk Men. Your Partners are Listening.’
Once again ,the answers simple, “It’s all da Menz fault!”! Or is it “If only Men were more like Women, the world would be a better place!” (And yet ironically, most women aren’t romantically attracted to effeminate men) One thing the G.M.P. does that few others do, they present both sides of an issue. If you look at Hilary Lauren’s article from May23 in the’ Advice and Confessions’ section, maybe you’ll get some insight.
Dear Mr. Reeves:
How do you manage to stay in all those places with little or no money not to mention living in those countries without renewing your passport? I always envy people who manage to live aboard with little or no resources and money particularly when they are trying to sort themselves out.
🙂 this is the funniest/weirdest comment ever. thanks for making me smile … I have no idea what you’re actually talking about, but it is entertaining! 🙂
How can we bridge the gap, without the requirement that someone else change to accomodate us?
We can learn (with our bodies) that the love we seek outside ourselves is the Love we already are.
Could you please answer Kals question without sounding like a Fortune Cookie?
🙂
What is the gap we are supposed to bridge, then?
Perhaps I’m not clear what you’re asking. What gap are you talking about?
In the video you talk about how we (men) can and should “bridge the gap” by staying in the room mentally and not only physically.
Am I close so far?
But now you tell me that we alredy ARE the love we seek outside.
It sounds to me you are saying that I am expected to provide a safe (mental) space for women. But that I can’t, and shouldn’t(!), expect to be provided the same or similar space by a woman in return.
No, I’m NOT saying that women don’t have their work to do also. Of course they do. However, in this video, I’m simply pointing to the opportunity that men have (or really ,masculine people, which can be women, too) – even the responsibility – to keep our hearts open for as long as we can stand to in the presence of a woman in pain (or someone who is expressing more emotional feminine energy). What usually happens is we allow out own crazy thoughts to take over which sends us running away – or fighting her back. I’m simply inviting… Read more »
I am going through this right now. I am in love with this man so much yet everything I do I’m being criticized on. When in all reality he has left me stranded not feeling anything from him and I have lost hope. I don’t know how to show him I care so much when everything just brings me to tears. I feel like everything I do is wrong. Maybe I should show him this. Yet I honestly don’t know if that would even work.
oh sweetie, he is possibly a narassicist or at least on the spectrum. feel it all your fault, somethign wrong with hou, connection never had before-but now feeling always something off, possibiltiy of cheating an d then later he returns with a epthany..his and maybe your friends think your crazy, stories get switched, doubt reality? yeah…no fixing that china plate.
Ina, there’s nothing “wrong” with you. This is an amazing opportunity to practice self love. One of the best things you can do FOR this man is TAKE REALLY GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF. If he’s not going to step up and take care of you, it’s time for you to do that. You’re choosing this experience. What are you trying to teach yourself? I recommend the Self-Love Diet … everyday for the next 30 days, do something that feels deeply good for yourself (and that doesn’t require anyone else’s participation) … You’ll be amazed at how things will shift when… Read more »
Yes, yes, YES!!!
This is so true! Thank you!!! We are not a problem to be solved at all. We are
Crying out for connection, for love, for understanding, for togetherness. This is so effing true. Thank you for this!!!
It’s my honor to serve, Holly 🙂 Love, Bryan
Why are you so f***ing amazing? (you made me cry)
Aww thank you Liz 🙂 I’m honored this video touches you so deeply 🙂 Love, Bryan