Save Your Money This Valentine’s Day

Don’t buy her anything. You’re welcome.

 

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, there’s no escaping the ubiquitous long-stemmed red roses, the heart-shaped balloons, the boxes upon boxes of premium chocolates, and plethora of glitter-stud cards.

Men, let me tell you straight up: don’t fall for any of it.

While researchers at Rutgers University may tout Flower Power, and have science to prove that flowers make one happy, the fact is they wilt and die a slow death. Do you know how painful it is to throw away drooping roses that were once brimming with joy? I still have flaky crispy petals from 2001 preserved between the pages of my well-loved copy of Wuthering Heights. It’s sad.

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So, men, think long term. You’ll end up causing the woman grief, not happiness. If she’s the caring, nurturing type, though, by all means gift her a blooming plant. For a cactus-killer like yours truly, though, anything rooted in soil is a bad idea.

If your logical mind thinks perfume next, listen up. Please, let a woman select her own scent. Don’t make assumptions about all women liking citrus or the delicate scent of a warm rose. Also, keep in mind, some women are allergic to perfume chemicals. And, a bonus tip: some might actually deem a gift-wrapped perfume bottle downright offensive and passive-aggressive. Like, girl, I find your odor unpleasant; I suggest this. Take a pass.

Are you thinking jewelry? I know many women swoon over diamonds, but remember, size matters. So, if you can’t get a sizable piece of rock, consider spending $5,000 on an exclusive island getaway instead.

You must think chocolates are a safe bet. Hell, no! Don’t tempt women with calorie-laden sweetness and derail them from their barely-a-month-old weight-loss resolutions. Godiva and Lindt be damned.

Clothes, you say? Don’t even try. Stay out of her closet if you cherish your happiness and bones.

So, what do you gift her then? Well, it’s not a quick fix, swipe-the-credit-card and you’re done kind of answer. You’ll need to think about what she really likes, dig a little deeper into what makes her smile, go through your digital photo library and look for hints.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Cook for her.

Surprise her with a picnic.

Take her on a tandem bike ride.

Give her a massage.

Serenade her.

It’s not bracelets and pendants she’ll remember when she thinks of your love, it’s the time you spend with her that she will cherish.

Women aren’t any different from men. We treasure experiences just as much as you do. Create memories. The intangible, wistful kinds. Let the others buy things.

Photo credit: Getty Images