In the big scheme of life events, meeting an Urban Shaman while seeking a spiritual home shouldn’t surprise me, but it did. I first met Tom Dworniczek of Integrative Counseling Services and Shamanic Healings of NWI one Saturday morning during a mediation service. An undeniable peaceful spirit with an infectious laugh who helped me feel right at home.
He seemed a natural fit this week when I decided to ask a variety of men I knew or knew of, a series of questions regarding what it meant to be a man. He graciously agreed.
What does “being a man” mean to you? “Being a man means keeping my feminine and masculine essences in balance. Using both essences to feel whole, alive and balanced. I have to stay aware of both of their needs and direction eg. work hard but bring love and feelings into it. Without my feminine (whose name is Wendy by the way) I become too rigid and flat inside. Without my masculine I can become too undisciplined. In short my feminine essence needs to admire my masculine =just as the woman in a man’s life.”
What is it like to be an aging man? “Aging has allowed me to slow down and pursue what is really important for my soul. I pace myself better along with taking afternoon naps. I am also more authentic and don’t concern myself with what others think of me. It’s a new type of freedom to be me without the masks, games or worries. I just can’t play as hard-four games of volleyball instead of eight.”
What is it like to be a male healer and is there a difference? “To be honest I think that others take me more seriously doing my healing in a male body-like that gives me a different type of credibility. I seem to command respect because of being a male doing what many think a woman should be doing. I also think people are pleased that a man can heal others as a guy-especially in my shamanic work.”
What would you like woman to understand about men? “First that we, too, have a feminine essence which can help us connect like having a girls night out. Second, a woman should be cautious of a man who isn’t conscious of this essence because it can come out unconsciously and be destructive. Third, that they should be patient, to a point, with a man who is getting in touch with both essences. Lastly, if a man is in denial of his feminine, he will try to do the same to her by rejecting that side of her. Then we end up having just two male essences living together which could damage their sexuality.”
Per Tom, a lot of his beliefs about essences comes from studies of Carl Jung’s work as well as the Kabbalah. As I read his replies, I smiled and am excited as well as very curious to see what the other men have to share.