You wake up and send out your daily “good morning” text to the object of your affection. A few hours later, you get a short response. Perhaps, you trade texts back and forth, but then there is silence.
You try to connect with the person off and on over the next week. They always seem busy or feed you excuses as to why they haven’t been as readily available. You assume people are busy and you don’t think too much about it.
Then, on Friday, you get a call from this person asking if you want to do something. Or, they send a text asking what are your plans.
You meet up and have a nice evening out, it’s your treat because you are a nice guy and you like this person. It’s all smiles, warm hugs and no real conversation about the nature of your relationship.
You wake up the next morning and send the “good morning” text. And, again, they are back to not responding for hours followed by excuses.
Do they like you?
To quote an old phrase, “They just aren’t THAT into you.”
Here are 5 Signs that Someone May Just Be Keeping You on The Hook:
1. You Always Contact Them First unless They Want Something
If you are always the first one to initiate contact and they don’t even contact you to check and see if you are alive, it’s quite possible they aren’t that interested in you. People who are enthusiastic to talk to you trade off on checking on you.
2. You Spend Money When You Are With Them
If every time you get together, it requires you to spend money then they may just enjoy spending your money. You might just be free meal or free drinks. If that is fine with you and have the money to spend, then that is fine. But, if you think spending your money is supposed to deepen your relationship with the person, it may be a fool’s journey.
3. They Have a Complicated Life and Are Constantly Seeking Your Advice or Assistance.
If every time you get together, you are lowkey counseling this person, then you may just be a free therapist. Yes, you should be there for your friends and provide emotional support. But, they can’t dominate every single time you are together with their newest emotional or financial drama. If they always have a crisis and that is the only time you hear from them, then you may be in the midst of an Emotional Vampire.
4. They Flake on Plans, Don’t Return Your Calls or Stand You Up.
If you get them to schedule plans with you, but they are always a no-show with no real explanation or they barely make an effort to return your calls, then you are not on their to-do list. Don’t get me wrong. People can be busy. And, sometimes, they have to cancel things or forget to return your call. But, if you notice a pattern of neglect, you should take it as a sign of where their priorities lie. People who care make an effort to show up.
5.Your Frustration
The biggest sign of whether someone isn’t that interested in you is your frustration. You feel like you have to experience constant disappointment to stay in contact with this person. You feel like an afterthought. You make an effort to show up for them, but they don’t reciprocate. If you find yourself preparing for the worse when it comes to them, then they are not matching your enthusiasm.
This may seem like an indictment of the person who is content to waste your time, but it’s more about you than them.
The question you should ask yourself is if this person is showing you that they are mildly interested in being in your life or only when it benefits them, why are you pursuing them and trying to change their mind?
Look at it from this perspective. A person will make sure they get up on time in the morning and go to work. Why? Because they care about keeping their job and paying their bills.
If they care about their health, they will make time to go to the gym. Some people get up before work at 5 a.m. just to workout. They go food shopping when they are dog tired just to make sure they have something to eat. They make doctor’s appointment when they are sick because they care about their health.
If they love a sport, they will make sure they are in front of the television when it comes on. They will listen to it on the radio in the car on the way to do something else they deemed important. Or, they will check the score.
But, the point is, when they care about something, they figure out how to fit it in along with everything else they deem a priority.
If they can’t find time for you, then you are not someone they feel the need to fit in. Your dissatisfaction isn’t a concern to them. I don’t believe the friend zone is somewhere someone puts you. I think it is somewhere you stay when you ignore the signs that you won’t get what you want out of the person of interest.
The question to ask yourself isn’t why won’t they make time, but why are you accepting that they don’t want to.
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Photo courtesy Pixabay.