But there’s booze in the blender… In case you are wondering what the hell the title of this blog is, it’s, “Word to your mother”, in Spanish. It doesn’t translate literally and if you say it to someone who speaks Spanish as their primary language, they will look at you like you’re a fucking…
My Daily Life
Chevy’s is finger lickin good
Swear to God. True fuckin’ story. Monday night I was in Baltimore with Drama Queen. We were chillin’ with The Muse when she offered to take us to dinner. I’ve been craving good Mexican food, but we couldn’t find any so we opted for Chevy’s. Chevy’s is mediocre Mexican food. Mediocre food is better…
Glee is bullshit
There are some things a guy just knows. I’m in the car with Drama Queen Sunday evening and she asks if I have the song Gives You Hell on my iPod. I dig The All American Rejects and I told her I did have it. She asked if it was “The Glee version or…
Playoff beard–update
They have to win. I hate Philly. You may or may not remember that I announced last week that I was growing a playoff beard for the NHL playoffs. I said that as long as either the LA Kings (the team I grew up watching), Anaheim Ducks (the team I covered for 8…
Dressing like a big leaguer
Marge Schott would be proud. Maybe you already heard about this and maybe you didn’t. Either way, I’m going to give you the short version. Cincinnati Reds pitcher Mike Leake was arrested on Monday after stealing six American Rag shirts from his local Macy’s. The shirts had a total value of $59.98. While…
My day in the ER
It’s a gift. I think. Let me tell you about last week… On Wednesday evening I found out the owner of my company has been to the joint twice. He did 18 months for embezzlement from the collection agency he ran for someone and he did 21 months for fraud. Also related to…
Random Thoughts
It’s to the left of Canada. The playoff beard Any true hockey fan will tell you about the playoff beard. It’s what real hockey players do this time of year. It’s old school and it should be mandatory for all players to do. What is a playoff beard? It’s pretty simple. As…
The Ashtray
I wasn’t gagging when you kissed me… It was November of 2009. I’d been in Buffalo for a couple months and I was giving the online dating thing another shot. I met The Ashtray online and we decided to meet for dinner at some dive she knew, over in the shitty part of…
South Dakota is really a state
She wasn’t nearly hot enough to be that dumb. I’m not going to mince words. Some people are stupid. Let me re-phrase that–some people are really stupid. How stupid? I’m glad you asked. One of my new co-workers, who I will assume isn’t a member of MENSA, made an interesting statement yesterday. …
The Diabetic Chick
She began making sweet love to Little Debbie… Tuesday was my second day at the new job. It’s not my first choice for employment, but it’s a job and I’m happy to have it. I have to work late two nights a week, but I have weekends off, so it does…
Giving it up for Lent
Chick flicks and green veggies… After seeing the title of this blog post, you may be thinking to yourself, “This could very well be crude and crass.” You may be right. I’m not really sure which direction this post is heading in. I’m guzzlin’ some Dew and letting the fingers go where they go. …
Thank you. Thank you very much.
There is tons more good shit coming soon… It’s been a busy, busy week for me. I moved my desk into our guest room upstairs and made myself a crappy little office, then I got all jacked up on Tim Horton’s & Mountain Dew, listened to Nine Inch Nails and wrote like a mo-fo. …
Yoga hurts
Finally, I need to make sure when I talk to the instructor, I don’t call it “doggy style”. I’m a mess. I’m out of shape and I could lose 20 25 pounds. I wasn’t always this way. A few years ago I was playing hockey one or two nights a week and could skate pretty…
Random Thoughts
As guys, we should be giving the ladies the same courtesy. School dances, MMA chicks, the Grammy show & manscaping. There are a ton of things floating around in my brain right now and I want to write about all of them. The trouble is, there’s not enough of each topic to make up a…
Chillin in the District
It’s how I’m rollin, yo! My alarm rang at 4:45 AM on Tuesday morning. I had a flight to catch at 6:45 AM and since I still had two days to go until my doctor cleared me to drive, my neighbor was taking me at 5:20 AM. I got up, turned on the shower, took…
How’d that taste New England?
“Uh…they scored more points than we did.” Bill Belichick, Patriots I was 1-3 this weekend in picking playoff games. That’s sad. For those of you who don’t know, I did sports talk radio for a few years.* That makes my performance this weekend totally pathetic and makes me kind of a jackwad. That’s OK, though. …