Don’t expect to meet the love of your life at a bar. And if you do meet the love of your life at a bar, what kind of person are you? Alcohol makes you funny, angry, sad, sleepy, or argumentative. But really, it doesn’t make you do anything; it was all there to begin with.…
Ten Things I've Learned
Ten things I've learned from my grandma, Maloha
If you can live to be in your mid 90’s and still be independent, single-minded, and stubborn, you’ve done well. If a 4′ something, 90 pound senior citizen can intimidate a 7″ something, 300 pound young man, you know she’s a tough lady. 4 different husbands! That’s where I get it from…. Railroad Flat is…
Ten things I've learned from dog walking
Gross things smell amazing! There is something peaceful and calming about wandering through a park, leash in hand, a hairy dog by your side. It’s strange to feel validated by watching an animal defecate. Bags are turned inside out before picking up poo. Why? Objects we may not notice on a regular day are often…
Ten things I’ve learned from dressing myself
Sweatpants are not cool unless you are under the age of 10 or in gym class. And even then… I used to wear clothes that were too baggy. I’ve learned something: wear clothes that fit your frame. It looks better. I wish I still had my Alf t-shirt from grade 6. It would be so…
Ten things I've learned from working in the music business
The “music business” is more like selling shoes than writing a symphony. There are a number of extremely talented artists out there. There are also a number of savvy self-promoters with average musical talent. There are not a lot of extremely talented artists who are also savvy self-promoters. It’s a small community. Say a few…
Ten things I've learned from funk music
If you have ants in your pants, then you need to dance. If you have hot pants, they are probably smoking. And you definitely need to dance. If you are on that thing, you need to get up off of it. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam! When I find a vacant booty,…
Ten things I’ve learned from living in Brooklyn
The place Mos Def, Jay Z, Biggie, and ODB grew up is different than the BedStuy of today. For instance: more white people. Gentrification greatly changes the culture of a neighbourhood. It can be good (reducing violent crime), and it can be bad (displacing long-time residents). Block parties are real, and they are amazing. There…
Ten things I've learned about weight loss from seeing a nutritionist
If you follow the rules below for a long time, you will lose weight. It worked for me…now if only I could get back to eating this way again… Weight loss is, in theory, incredibly simple: energy in, energy out. Dieting is bullshit; you have to change your lifestyle. Eat multiple meals throughout the day.…
Ten things I've learned from long-form improv classes
The Impatient Theater has great classes. Have a strong opinion. Care about each other. Make the active choice. Aim for beauty, settle for comedy. Find the first odd thing in a scene: that’s the game. Be honest. Trust your partner. Play against type. Avoid puns. Don’t talk about what you’re doing. It’s boring.
Ten things I’ve learned from watching Buffy
If you aren’t in love with Willow, you are crazy. Being a teenager is hell. There is somebody who understands you. His name is Joss Whedon. Everybody has a purpose, everybody has a calling. I spent many hours watching Buffy and Angel with my sister. I’ll always treasure that time. I get Xander now. I…
Ten things I’ve learned from travelling in Trinidad.
The ways that I speak, think, eat, dress, and dance are hilarious when I am outside of Canada. If you are on an empty street in Port of Spain, and a tall drug dealer/pimp with a gold tooth asks you if you want to come to the back of his store to look at t-shirts….don’t.…
Ten things I’ve learned from playing basketball
If you make the same move every time, your defender will learn to expect that move. This is when you switch it up. Confidence is everything. Basketball is as mental as it is physical. Pass. You are only as good as your team. Some white men can jump. Come up high and tall, come down…
Why ten things?
This is my first post. I’ve always enjoyed writing, although I tend to lean more towards long, colourful paragraphs than short, clever lists. I think I just want to find a process for categorizing and remembering things that I’ve learned, and how I generally think about my life. Writing is cathartic. So this is an…