This comment was by Benjamin on the post Dangers of the “Blame Game” (& What Blame Really Reveals) by MeetMindful
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The same once happened to me.
For a whole year, I was angry at my ex-girlfriend, for an indeed, painful breakup.
I wanted to hurt her with my anger …but she just moved on and I stayed back hurting myself with the anger.
To all guys out there who once had the same experience:
We all have to take our hits and learn our lessons. Anger will bring you nowhere. It will make you
less attractive to other women. Also, your anger pushes away the ones who love you like your friends and family.
I tell you how to get over it. It’s easy:
Forgive yourself.
It is a simple decision. Maybe you’ll have to repeat it several times but just forgiving yourself takes out the energy of your anger. And you can move on finding someone who is worth your love
◊♦◊
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Thank you for this comment, I have been struggling with the same issue for the past 9 months. The self-blame and eventual self harm (alcohol) all came from an inability to forgive myself. The realization that traditional “closure” is over rated and the recognition of my true need for self-reconciliation has given me the traction I needed to pull myself out of the hole I had dug myself into with my anger. All break ups don’t occur in a mutually satisfactory manner and when all is said and done your ability to heal using your own tools independently is what… Read more »