As National Bullying Prevention month comes up in October, it’s time for fathers everywhere to step up the fight against bullying.
While none of us wants to think of or hear that our kids are victims of bullying, the unfortunate truth is that it’s still a common occurrence in some schools. Bullying has become even more prevalent these days, thanks to the anonymity brought about by the internet.
Now bullies can intimidate, threaten, belittle and embarrass their victims via email, text and even social media. As dads, there are ways we can aid in the fight against bullying.
Helping Your Children Stop Bullying
Your child’s self-worth and feelings of safety are founded by how they feel at home. So, it is vital that we fathers focus on building up our children. Some of the things you can do to help your children overcome bullying are:
- Being your kid’s confidants. Most kids would rather keep silent about being the victims of bullying. Having a close relationship with your kids based on trust and open communication will go a long way towards encouraging them to admit to being bullied. As a father, you can also provide a safe and supportive space for them to vent and work through the different feelings brought about by getting bullied.
- Teaching avoidance strategies. They may seem like a cowardly way to deal with situations, but avoidance strategies can keep bullying from escalating. Teach your kid to ignore the bully or walk away if possible. It might also be helpful to avoid places where the bully lurks and to also use the buddy system, so they’re rarely alone and vulnerable to the bully’s attacks.
- Building our kids’ confidence. Getting bullied can really tear down your kid’s confidence so encourage them to develop their strengths and take part in activities where they can really excel, e.g., dancing, music, theater.
- Encouraging assertiveness. Lots of famous people survived bullying and have gone on to become successful in life. Letting your teen know this might give them the strength and motivation they need to become more assertive. You can also try role-playing to help your teen practice being more assertive, e.g., how to make eye contact, speaking confidently, how to stand up for themselves, etc. This will get rid of the victim mentality that bullies like to prey on.
Working With Your Community To End Bullying
While we can’t be with our children to protect them from bullies at all times, there are a couple of actions we can take to end bullying in our communities.
- Addressing the situation as soon as possible. Bullying can be extremely damaging to your child’s self-esteem and confidence. Even worse, if left to go on for a long time it can lead to significant physical, psychological and mental health ramifications that can last well into your child’s life. So address the situation as soon as you notice something’s amiss, whether with your child’s teachers, administrations, the bully’s parents, or with a therapist.
- Modeling appropriate conflict resolution methods. It can be tempting to go on the offensive when you discover that your child has been bullied. Unfortunately, this will set a bad example for your kids. Since anger and aggression are not the answer, find other ways of resolving the conflict, e.g., speaking to a school counselor to set up a meeting with the bully and his parents.
Most importantly, let your kid know that they’re not alone in this and that you’ll work together to find a lasting solution.
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