A recent poll of 2,000 young people found that nearly one-third (31%) of young girls (ages 16–21) are performing sex acts before even kissing the guy.
Imagine that.
Imagine it was your daughter. Your little sister. Your niece, your neighbor, or the little girl you babysat.
Imagine any young woman that you know and care for.
While you might smile at the idea of her going on a date, or holding hands, or experiencing a first kiss — you’re probably repulsed by this statistic.
Why is this the case?
The answer is simple — pornography culture.
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Porn is a modern-day epidemic.
Most children are exposed to porn by age 13.
At such a young age, many children are using pornography as a form of “sex education.” While children go through puberty, their young minds are so impressionable and curious that pornography is especially harmful.
The vast majority of pornography offers an inaccurate portrayal of sex acts that would never be enjoyable in real life.
From body insecurities to a deeply misogynistic understanding of what makes “good sex,” pornography distorts the beauty of human sexuality.
Violent sex acts, sex without consent, being spit on, physically assaulted or otherwise disrespected during sex are viewed as “standard” or “arousing.”
Not to mention, 97% of the violence and aggression featured in porn is directed toward women.
This is especially harmful to teen girls — who are being taught (consciously or subconsciously) that sexual abuse is sex.
Young women are victims of porn culture.
This is why 31% of women are reporting to have engaged in sex acts before even kissing a guy.
They’re taught to prioritize what guys like. And like most teenagers, they just want to be accepted.
The effects of porn culture on young girls are too horrific to be ignored. In the study published in The Daily Mail, these were some of the findings:
- 85% of girls who were sexually active had given oral sex, with more than a third doing so before the age of 16
- Nearly one in five has felt “forced into it”
- 19% said it wasn’t consensual, and 42% said they felt pressured and “didn’t always feel in control”
The emotional ramifications on young girls who are used for their sexual value can impact them for the rest of their lives.
It can hinder them from ever developing a healthy, loving sexual relationship.
And the more that it’s normalized, and porn is encouraged as a form of “sexual exploration,” for teens and young people, the more harmful the effects will be.
Young men are victims, too.
They, too, are misinformed and their understanding of sex is completely warped.
For boys who are exposed to porn at an extremely young age, they are subconsciously trained to find objectifying and abusing women arousing. They may also be deeply misinformed to believe that women find sexual violence or aggression arousing.
The vast majority of women don’t.
It’s true, some young men are deeply troubled and in desperate need of professional help, but a large portion of them have just been misguided and indoctrinated by porn culture.
Most young men just haven’t been properly taught or conditioned to be attuned to what women actually want.
But, of course, they haven’t.
They’re getting their “sex education” from porn.
The solution
Of course, there is no “quick fix” or easy solution to this.
Porn sites aren’t going away any time soon, and with access to the internet at our fingertips, it is more of a problem than ever.
The first step is to admit that porn, as a whole, has had negative effects on society. It distorts our view of sexuality, reduces people to objects, promotes sexual violence, and becomes an addictive behavior that leads to negative ramifications on people’s mental health.
While adults are going to watch what they want to watch, we need to protect our children from porn with more urgency.
We need to protect children, period.
And until we admit that porn isn’t just “harmless fun” or a tool for “sexual exploration,” our children will continue to be victims of it.
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Final thoughts
Pornography is an epidemic and its effects on young people are disastrous.
Young girls are being taught that painful, degrading, or violent sex acts are the “standard” for pleasing boys.
Boys are being taught that it’s okay to abuse women and that sick and distorted acts are the same thing as sex.
Regardless of gender — today’s young people deserve better.
Resources for quitting porn at Fight the New Drug.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Dev Asangbam on Unsplash