What do pandemics, alien invasions, meeting your in-laws for the first time, changing your career, or becoming a parent all have in common?
They force you to be your best self. You have no choice but to up your game.
If this past year has taught us anything, it’s that we need to be resilient, resourceful, and kind. Difficulties have a way of doing that to us. But here’s the thing: when others impose change upon us, it’s painful and dramatic. When we do it to ourselves, it’s admirable and stoic.
Habits have been on everyone’s lips these past few years, and for a good reason. Some may be trivial, but it doesn’t make them less essential for forging our 2.0 selves. Looking at some of these habits differently will give you the motivation you need to implement them in your life. Let’s dive in.
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Break a sweat
There are few scarier punishments in the world than the words “Drop down and give me 50!”. Heck, my spaghetti arms can barely stand 5 push-ups before I collapse on the floor.
We admire navy seals for one simple reason: they pushed their body to inhumane limits and emerged on the other side with steel-like muscles and even stronger characters.
So if you want to be a badass, there’s no way around it. You have to break a sweat on two levels: you have to mentally push yourself to stick to an exercise regimen, and you have to physically endure some serious effort.
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Curb your alcohol intake
After a worrying spike in drinking during spring lockdown, I feel like we, as a species, need to sober up. Show some restraint. Prove Pavlov wrong.
Here’s the thing about drinking alcohol when you want to become unstoppable: it slows you down. It’s disastrous for your focus. Sure, it’s fun — it mellows out your evening, lowers your inhibitions, and does wonders for your anxiety.
But alcohol is a thief. It steals from your mental clarity, sleep, and health, all in the name of a feel-good buzz.
8 P.M, glass of wine in hand:
Maybe work on that side hustle? Nope, my brain is foggy.
Maybe tidy up, wash the dishes? Nope, I feel like relaxing.
Maybe have a mindful evening routine? Nope, Netflix and popcorn sound better.
Maybe set my alarm for 6:00 AM tomorrow? Hell no, I’ll be too hungover.
You get the point, and you know I’m right. Put that glass down.
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Banish the snooze button
It’s none of my business to tell you what time to get up. Even our prehistoric ancestors had their night owl sentinels keeping the tribe out of harm’s way. What they didn’t have was an annoying bird next to their heads, chirping every five minutes as they kept falling back to sleep. Or maybe they did; I wish I had a time machine to see for myself.
Waking up with the first alarm, and jumping out of bed is a sign of discipline. It’s what made Mel Robbins notoriously successful. And if you make your bed, on top of that, you, my friend, are on the way to conquering the world.
Sleep is important; we already know that. But what’s not as mainstream is that every time we drift to sleep, we enter a new cycle that lasts around 90 minutes. When we get repeatedly jolted out of those sleep cycles, we risk spending the rest of the day with what experts call sleep inertia. And a headache on top of that.
Don’t be a sleepwalking groggy mess. Stop hitting the snooze button.
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Just say no
Here’s a sign you might be a resentful people pleaser: you spend way too much time doing things you don’t want to do.
It could be taking on too many commitments that seemed like a good idea at first, allowing your coworkers to lean on you until you’re starting to feel used, or staying in a job you no longer enjoy because you’d hate to let [*insert boss, parents, clients] down.
The most successful people reached their current status by being laser-focused and ruthless with what didn’t serve their purpose. They routinely say no a lot, and they’re even admired for it.
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Give every dollar a job
Okay, I’ll admit, I stole this line from Jesse Mecham’s YNAB. But here’s another thing you should say no to: buying useless crap that you never planned for.
Budgeting is so underrated. It will save your finances and your marriage. It will prepare you for hard times. It will give you a long term vision for the future. It will make delayed gratification sound very sexy.
You’re probably put off by the term “budgeting” because you’ve been associating it with saving a large chunk of your paycheck, cutting down on Starbucks, and living on rice and beans. And you might have to do all that for a while, at least until you build yourself an emergency fund.
But once you’re financially out of the woods, you’re the only one to decide what your money can do for you.
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Elevate your cooking skills
It’s hard to imagine a world without takeout. Wait, this year, I think we just did. I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been reaching for takeout a lot less.
It’s not just the fear of someone sneezing Covid in my food (no worries, that’s not really how you get it). It’s also the fact that, with practice, I’ve gotten so good at making certain dishes that takeout just doesn’t seem so appealing anymore. Knowing you can rely on your own skills for a delicious meal is a huge confidence booster.
So why should you learn to cook when you can barely boil an egg? One reason would be to impress the ladies — helplessness is not a good look on anyone.
The other more important reason is sustainability: cooking (and bonus points for growing) your own food is a good way to cut waste, be mindful of what you put in your body, and connect with friends and family — food has a way of bringing people together.
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Put in the work without expecting rewards
I’ve always wondered if my dog is so obedient because she genuinely loves me or because I’m the source of all that is delicious and good. If an animal’s behavior is always linked to a reward, why would we be any different?
Well, we’re not. But we can choose more abstract rewards, such as building our character, learning patience, experiencing gratitude.
We’ve been conditioned to believe in the illusion of certainty for too long. “Work X amount of hours and get paid,” “Say these things and make these gestures and he will love you,” “Work out for 90 days, and you’ll get six-pack abs”.
You and I both know things often don’t work out. There’s a tremendous amount of risk associated with simply existing.
So whether it’s volunteer work because you love helping people, spending endless hours on building a business that is not guaranteed to succeed, or putting yourself out there to find love again, you need to do the work and forget the results.
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Sit in silence
Oh no, another person on the internet telling you to meditate. Well, don’t do it if you hate it. You don’t have to sit completely still to reap the benefits of spending some time distraction-free.
Here’s a question for you: do you even like to be in your own company anymore? When’s the last time you talked to yourself — not in a creepy way, but maybe in an “I’m on a walk, and I’m accidentally speaking my thoughts out loud” kind of way?
There’s something dignified about a person enjoying solitude and simplicity. Think about it; you’d do a great job surviving in a post-apocalyptic world. Or a 2-hour long power outage.
Too much technology is getting us addicted to escapism. We should stop letting screenplay writers tell us what to dream and instead take time to do some “streaming” in our own minds.
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Go to your yearly check-ups
When’s the last time you went to your doctor or did a full blood test panel? Maybe too long ago?
It’s much easier to deal with dramatic world events, job loss, or a challenging phase in your life if you’re in good health. With so many cancers, autoimmune or chronic disease lurking even at a young age, healthy eating and exercise alone are no longer enough. You need to actively check to see if you’re fine.
Also, please see your dentist at least once a year. You can’t afford not taking care of your teeth. I know we’re an intimidating and scary bunch, but it’s not like we enjoy torturing people. It’s the sugar aftermath that makes you suffer.
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Embrace life-long learning
If you hated school growing up, I’ve got news for you: learning never really ends. If, however, you really enjoy being a student and find excuses to keep going back to university: that’s all great and good, but you also need to get a job so you can afford to feed your dog.
Why not combine the best of two worlds and work while also learning a new skill? You could learn a new language, or become a self-taught programmer — that sure is fashionable these days. Or you could get really crafty and open up an Etsy shop.
My status quo is: always be interested in something. It will keep your mind sharp and your resume in top shape.
Follow your passions and see where they take you – you could be the world’s new Steve Jobs, or a sourdough baker genius. The trick is never to stop learning.
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The bottom line
There you have it, folks, 10 habits covering health, wealth, grit, mindfulness, and a never-ending pursuit for knowledge. 10 ways to constantly push yourself to a better version:
- Break a sweat
- Curb your alcohol intake;
- Banish the snooze button;
- Just say no;
- Give every dollar a job;
- Elevate your cooking skills;
- Put in the work without expecting rewards;
- Sit in silence;
- Go to your yearly check-ups;
- Embrace life-long learning
We’ve all experienced it on our own skin: change is damn hard. But life changes us whether we like it or not, and we’d better be equipped for what the future brings.
So if you want to accomplish great things, start on a small scale. Slay the everyday habits first – they’re the foundation of all exceptional lives.
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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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Photo credit: iStock