That’s all you want. You want to have great relationships. When you’re in a happy and healthy relationship, you feel content and positive.
Because the quality of your life is a reflection of the quality of your relationships not just with your romantic partner but with people around you.
“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” -Tony Robbins
That’s why we all crave quality, deep, and healthy relationships. But most of the time, most people get in the way and sabotage the success of their relationships. And at the end of the day, they cast blames on whatever they like for the misfortunes of their relationships.
But unless they address and fix their problems, issues, and behaviors, they’ll forever wallow in mediocre relationships.
That said, let’s take a look at five little habits you should avoid to improve the quality of your relationships.
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1. Overlooking little commitments.
One of the not so obvious ways to ruin your reputation in the sight of people is by taking little commitments or promises for granted.
If you want people around you to hold you in high regard and strive to enjoy meaningful relationships with you, then you need to learn how to take almost every little commitment or promises you make seriously.
Instead of making a lot of commitments and making little promises that you will overlook, try to be fully present and keep to your words. Because it demonstrates your maturity, reliability, And trustworthiness.
How to effect a change:
Even though we all are humans and forgetfulness is fully ingrained in our nature, you can still play up your reliability score by avoiding regular failure to follow through with your commitments and improve your relationships with people.
Start focusing on your words. Learn to hold yourself more accountable for the things you say. Minimize the rate at which you make promises you cannot keep to and maximize the rate at which you follow through every promise you make.
This includes little promises like:
I’ll let you know about the upcoming meeting .”
“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”
I’ll call you as soon as I get there.” etc.
It tells a lot about you and affects your relationship with people.
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2. Being unkind and cruel to people below you.
Imagine going for a business meeting with a company manager and upon entering into his office, you found him treating the janitor this way:
“Hey, are you blind to see that behind the door isn’t clean?”
“Why are you so dumb that you can’t get things done on your own?”
“Shouting or speaking in a hostile tone plus calling him names.”
Would you think highly of such a kind of person?
You probably wouldn’t.
Yet, too often, some of us are worse than this type of bosses to other people below us.
But the truth is, most people who are rude to people below them usually do so because of their unresolved problems like fear, insecurities, temporary predicaments, etc.
However, you should try to be nice to everyone and even people who are below you.
Because one of the easiest ways to know a man is how he treats people.
So the way you treat janitors, flower sellers by the sidewalks, strangers on the street, etc tells a lot about you.
How to effect a change:
Try to be nice to people or even to strangers you meet anywhere.
Look for ways to put a smile on their faces by helping them in whatever way you can.
You don’t need a reason to help people as it pays to be nice.
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3. Avoiding responsibility for your mistakes.
So many people spend their entire lives trying to run away from their mistakes.
This is particularly done by people who blame or accuse others of their own mistakes in a bid to escape their responsibilities.
But the truth is that mistakes are just a small part of our life and we can’t live without making mistakes because we are humans.
What if I told you that learning to always own your mistakes and taking responsibility for them will be an ultimate game-changer that’ll transform your relationships and your life in general.
How to effect a change:
Learn to own and take responsibility for your mistakes. And never blame or accuse others of making it a big deal, or remind them of their own mistakes as a way to escape the responsibility for yours.
People seldom hate people who can’t address their mistakes in a respectful, kind, and caring way by apologizing and trying to make amends.
So stop blaming others for your mistakes and own them yourself.
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4. Reacting too negatively to other people’s mistakes.
You don’t have to be cheerful about everything that people will do to you in life. Yet, your grudge shouldn’t hold you back.
We all know that people could make terrible mistakes that could affect us badly at any point in our lives which is quite normal.
But what isn’t normal is taking things personal, belittling, or holding grudges which is an obvious sign of low and week self-esteem.
We all make mistakes and that’s what makes us humans. Hence, there’s no point reacting too negatively to other people’s mistakes.
How to effect a change:
Learn to be gracious when another person makes a mistake and never take it personal because taking it personal, belittling, or holding grudges means you have low and week self-esteem. And this has led to a lot of fallouts in many relationships.
Every time you let someone off the hook for whatever mistake they make, you’re creating a room for deeper connection with that person.
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5. Being a manipulative clown.
Do you like people who only act so nice to others because they want something from them?
Me neither.
The truth is that behaving in that way will make you appear selfish, self-absorbed, and maybe narcissistic.
Because people acting like this don’t have an established sense of self, and they change personalities like chameleons.
But life is so much easier and fun if you go with the flow, be your real self and always put on your best self no matter who you find yourself around.
Acting nice to people only when they are beneficial to you might be smart, but it isn’t.
Most people acting nice to people when they are beneficial are mostly hated and most times end up not getting what they want.
How to effect a change:
Small things aren’t so small: why not try to be yourself and be open.
Because being yourself will make people like you and this will improve your relationships with people.
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Final thoughts.
Unless we all ditch or abandon some of our behaviors, attitudes, or even believes that are hindering us from enjoying satisfying relationships, our relationships will always be short-lived.
Like earlier mentioned, it will be pretty difficult to create and nurture healthy relationships if one’s behaviors or habits keep getting in the way.
Don’t you think you’ll be at risk of drowning in an ocean of shallow and mediocre relationships if you keep overlooking little commitments, being unkind and cruel to people below you, avoiding responsibilities for your mistakes, reacting too negatively to other people’s mistakes, and being a manipulative clown?
Of course, they won’t only make it difficult for one to enjoy deep and satisfying relationships with others but will also affect the lenses others view you through.
The truth is, the former means you’ll not be able to enjoy long and fulfilling friendships or relationships while the later indicates warning signs to others to cut ties or have a fall out with you.
So, let’s not make things difficult for ourselves. And avoid behaviors that could damage our relationship with people. Instead, we should try to develop habits that encourage healthy, strong, and meaningful relationships.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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