Cheating is one of the reasons most heterosexual relationships breakup. Men and women react to infidelity differently — depending on their personality and the circumstances. Some people barely forgive a cheating partner.
We see situations where a man goes astray, lies, and cheats on his wife or girlfriend, and yet she gives him another chance. But in a situation where the wife cheats, the relationship often ends in divorce.
Whether the couple breaks up or not depends mainly on how threatening the infidelity is seen by the other partner.
The more threatening the infidelity, the worse it is for the relationship.
Some studies have proven that men and women view cheating differently. Here are some reason why women may more easily forgive a cheating partner than men will.
Emotional triggers
Men usually regard physical infidelity more seriously. Most men can’t get over the idea that another man had sex with what they consider “their woman”. A man may wonder how his partner feels about sex with him compared with the other man. These images can torture him whenever he sees the woman.
Women, on the other hand, may view emotional infidelity as more serious—when the partner forms a close relationship with another person.
Women won’t take it lightly if their man diverts his time and resources away from her and her children to have sex. Sometimes she can tolerate her partner sleeping with another person, as long as he does not fall in love or have feelings for the other woman.
Psychological torture
Men are often socialized to form a habit of lying even when it’s uncalled for. They may quickly fabricate lies to avoid arguments. To men, not telling the truth is a form of respect to the woman. Like when a man tells his woman that her dress is pretty when she looks bloated because he doesn’t want to get into an argument on how she added a few pounds.
Since most men don’t value honesty as much, they think a woman dramatizes her feelings through lies.
However, once a man confirms his wife is cheating, that image is permanently etched into his brain, and most men leave unless they have young children to whom they feel obligated to care for.
On the other hand, women aren’t as prone to lying. They take a man’s word seriously. When he says he will call after a date, she expects him to call. And when you doesn’t, she begins to doubt his integrity.
Most women can only relax from their intimate partner with transparency, openness and honesty, as they can feel half-truths in their bodies. Once a woman confirms that her husband is cheating on her, she feels eerily better. Before she it was confirmed, she may have been feeling crazy, out of whack, uncomfortable, angry, and hurt.
She knows for sure that her instincts have always been right, she knows she is hurt, but she is also developing stronger mental energy to put her feet on the ground and keep moving forward.
She accepts the betrayal and forgives the man because she hopes he will change.
Self-blaming
Women have this version of a perfect ideal woman who does no wrong. They blame themselves when their man cheats.
If the man as much as hints that it might be her fault that he cheated for paying more attention to her job or kids or for not giving him sex as often as he wants, the guilt triggers in her head.
She assumes responsibility for the man’s weakness. She does not only forgive him but even goes further to make excuses for his cheating scandal.
Whereas men think differently. They don’t see any socially acceptable for a woman to cheat because she is supposed to be virtuous.
Very few men will take on responsibilities that are not theirs when their wives tell them, “You haven’t touched me in a while,” or “You traveled so much for work.” When communication is flawed in the beginning, the relationship will already be strained.
Public shame
Tradition, family, religion, society, and personal view on what’s good and evil encourage even the most tormented wife to forgive a cheating husband. Sometimes it has to do with the strength and resources that man provides, and sometimes, it is just the perception of stability that he offers. Some women feel they need to be protected by men, so they stay with a cheat even when their men expose them to deadly infectious diseases.
A man whose wife cheats on is often looked down on by society more than by a woman cheated on by her husband.
Men know deep down that women cheat for emotional reasons. They know women cheat when the man is doing something wrong, so their bruised ego can’t handle the betrayal.
When a man learns that his woman has been cheating, he gets mixed emotions. He’s angry, sad, jealous, frustrated, and he may not know to whom to express his feelings.
In order not to be made a mockery of by his friends and relatives, a man will hardly forgive his cheating wife.
Divorce fears
Women are afraid of dealing with divorce challenges. They believe being a single parent is not a better solution than staying to fix the relationship.
For some traditions, divorce would mean that she would not acquire her husband’s inheritance for her daughter. Marriage proposals will be almost impossible for your daughter if she goes through with divorcing her husband.
Men, on the other hand, are not objectified in the way women are. They are not subjected to humiliation, nor is their character questioned when they choose to divorce their wives.
We learn that men only want sex or are programmed to have multiple partners and that women shouldn’t cheat from an early age.
So when a man cheats, he may feel very little remorse. But when it’s the woman who cheated, he feels it’s his right to replace her for not respecting their wedding vows.
Dating a man with no good character, no honor, or no integrity is a boring, disgusting, and painful experience for most women, but women often stay.
And when it comes to love and marriage, people end up doing whatever they can to forgive their spouse and save their marriage. A relationship can survive cheating if the couple is willing to forgive each other.
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Previously Published on medium
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