We live in a time when the actions of unconscious men have profoundly unprecedented impacts on the well-being of our species. The news media reminds us daily of the very worst that unconscious masculinity has to offer. Yet, we believe every man has the potential to transcend the dysfunction of poor cultural coding, to shine brightly through his heart for the benefit of all.
The process happens one man at a time, but it takes the hearts of many men to change our collective soul. Here’s a way to help a man in your life find his heart, his greatness, and the very best of who he is …
(Author’s Note: to learn more about how the ManKind Project USA was featured on the TODAY Show with Maria Shriver just CLICK HERE or the image below on the left side and receive a free PDF copy of the document below.)
Despite what he may be showing you or telling you, lone wolves don’t thrive in today’s world. This assertion is backed up by numerous studies now, and the Harvard Grant study found that the quality of men’s relationships is the single most important factor in determining life-satisfaction. Men who have strong connections to others are healthier, live longer, feel better, and have less conflict. Yet, it can often be difficult for men to admit that they need others, sometimes seeing that as a weakness. Men are taught that ‘real men’ are supposed to be able handle it all on their own, and will often feel ashamed when they can’t.
Reassuring him that you are at his side will be powerfully received, and supporting him to create authentic friendships with other conscious men will help both of you.
#2 – Men have deep emotions.
He probably doesn’t process them like you do. There are likely parts of himself he thinks are unacceptable, and that he doesn’t share with others. In our culture, there isn’t a lot of training for men to identify, understand, and process the depth of their emotions. The kicker is that when men’s deep emotional reality is repressed, denied, or ignored, it will inevitably show up as dysfunction. It might feel risky to think of a man showing his emotions, especially if he rarely does. And because men frequently process emotions differently than women, he may need more time and an intentional space to begin doing this challenging work.
By supporting him to feel his emotions, you are providing fertile soil for his heart to grow and lessening the urge to react inappropriately.
#3 – Men long for and need appreciation.
Men put a great deal of value in their doing, especially when providing for the ones they love. It gives them a sense of accomplishment and is very often a way for them (in their minds anyway) to demonstrate their caring, love, and commitment. Men go to incredible lengths to ‘prove’ their value in the world, and if they’re not fully conscious in their doing, they will end up hurting themselves and those they care about. Without appreciation, they can feel frustrated and resentful that what they hold most valuable in themselves is not being seen.
By giving acknowledgement generously and often, he will feel less need to ‘prove’ himself, and you will see him light up even in the most difficult of circumstances.
#4 – Men are hungry for adventure.
Men love to explore, conquer new challenges, and journey into the unknown. And when men are clear on their values, purpose, and emotions, their adventures can have profoundly positive impacts for themselves and others. Their adventures and risk taking forge new evolutionary paths that can benefit everyone. When men aren’t clear on their values, or their values are focused only on self-satisfaction, the drive for adventure will often show up as thrill-seeking, compulsiveness, and obsession with novelty. Boys act-out. Men take responsibility.
Helping him get clear on what he values, and supporting his desire for adventure will help you connect with a major source of power for positive transformation.
#5 – Men have a drive for purpose.
Conscious men have an innate desire to use their masculine power for the greater good: be it in their family, community or the world at large. Unconscious or immature men are still driven by purpose, but because of their lack of self-reflection, inability to see the big picture, or childish desire to dominate, they will enact their purpose in destructive ways. It is crucial to the well being of men and those around them that they find and follow their purpose.
By giving him encouragement to manifest his true purpose, you open him up to his highest possibility for himself and everyone he cares about.
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image: ManKind Project USA