Psychology rocks.
But it can also be a little tricky.
Our minds are fascinating places, but they also are susceptible to little psychological tricks that can be used by anyone. If they know what they are.
Sometimes, it’s just common sense.
What if you want someone to notice you? What are some things you can do to show them what a great person you are so they fall for you in no time?
Well, if you look to psychology, the obvious and not-so-obvious tips, there are some tricks up psychology’s sleeve.
Here are six psychological tricks that can make anyone fall for you.
1. Mirror Your Partner
People love people similar to them. So if you are like them in their movements, they may start subconsciously thinking you two are alike.
If you mimic the other person’s gestures and movements, this will likely make them think of you as similar to them. As long as you are not doing it too much, or so obviously.
This instance is called the ‘chameleon effect’ and was explored in psychology studies. The chameleon effect is more focused on how we mimic others subconsciously to get them to like us or relate to us. It’s sort of how we try to ‘fit in’ per se.
So, try subtly mirroring your partner, and they may subconsciously do the same, or find themselves liking something about you… They can’t quite put their finger on it…
Oh, yeah. It’s themselves!
2. Actually Spend Time With Your Partner
Okay, well this one is obvious. But there is some psychological research-backed by this. Obviously.
Especially if you have a crush on someone in a class, or at work. I’m talking about what psychologists call the ‘mere exposure effect’.
People prefer others if they are familiar with them. Even if you don’t do something interesting or say something utterly fascinating!
I mean, those knock-knock jokes can only last so long. Right?
In my article “6 Behaviors That Make Someone Chase You, Backed by Psychological Research,” I talk about this idea in detail.
According to a psychological study by R.B. Zajonc, the mere exposure effect is a psychological phenomenon in which people find themselves preferring someone or something simply because they developed familiarity with them.
When a person is repeatedly exposed to certain stimuli, that person develops familiarity with the stimuli and therefore prefers its presence. This is why certain products in ads are constantly being repeated during your favorite programming’s commercial breaks. The more familiar you are with something, the more you’ll start to notice it.
So, next time you want a certain someone to fall for you. Actually, get the nerve to spend some time around them. Talk to them, join their group discussion, and tell a joke.
Just for the love of God, no more knock-knock jokes.
3. Show You Are Capable and Intelligent, But Still Human
Everyone loves an intelligent person. They like someone reliable and capable. Someone who cares, someone smart.
But surprisingly, most people don’t like someone who is ‘perfect’.
Yeah, I know!
So your grandma telling you to: “be perfect, be perfect!” and: “remember to call me every Sunday?”
Yeah, she’s been wrong this whole time.
Well, you should probably call her every Sunday. That’s nice.
But, people can get intimidated by people who apparently come across as ‘too perfect.
A researcher from the University of Texas found that if you make some mistakes but still show that you are a capable and intelligent person, it may make others see you as more attractive.
In the study, researcher Elliot Aronson had people rate fake ‘test-takers’ based on their attractiveness. Test-takers would either do great on a test, mediocre, or poor.
The imperfection? Some test-takers would act clumsy and spill coffee at the end of the interview after their scores were revealed.
People rated the test-takers who spilled coffee at the end of their interview the highest on the attractiveness scale.
Meaning, people want to see you are intelligent and capable, but that you aren’t perfect.
As the research paper states: “a superior person may be viewed as superhuman and, therefore, distant; a blunder tends to humanize him and, consequently, increases his attractiveness.”
Poor test takers, mediocre test-takers, and even great test-takers were still rated lower than the superior test-taker who scored great and spilled coffee at the end. Others may be intimidated if you come across as perfect and make no mistakes. They want to see your human side.
But when you show you are capable and yet still relatable as a human being who makes mistakes, people tend to like you more.
So next time you give off a great first impression and show you are intelligent and capable, don’t think you have to be ‘perfect’, little imperfections — and even being a little clumsy — can be attractive along with your strengths.
4. Show Your Positive Side
People enjoy being around others who are happy. If someone’s encounters with you are mostly positive, they will start to associate positive emotions with you.
This is good because… Hello? If they are going to fall for you, they have to be happy around you.
Thing is, if someone is happy, and sticks to that emotion, others around them will start feeling better as well.
Just, don’t overly complain, don’t be always look on the bad side, and don’t be that person in the group who brings the level down from happy, to ultimate depression.
Sigh. I’m feeling depressed already.
All these ‘don’ts’ are negative words! I need to look to my positive side!
After all, your mood can affect others’ mood around you.
A research paper from the University of Hawaii and Ohio State University suggests that many individuals can unconsciously tell what mood you’re in just by being around you. Seems fair right?
So if you are in a good mood, omit that energy! Bring out your positive chi! Whoever you’re around will likely sense your mood and give in and feel happier around you.
If all else fails, at least you’re positive and happy.
5. Ladies, Wear Red
This one’s for the ladies.
In an experiment conducted by researchers Daniela Niesta Kayser, Andrew J. Elliot, and Roger Feltman — published in the European Journal of Social Psychology — researchers found men are more likely to be attracted to the color red on women.
In the experiment, men were tasked with asking questions to women — women clothed in red and women in green. The men chose to ask the women in red more amorous questions.
In a second experiment, men chose to sit closer to women in red versus women in blue.
As the research paper states: “research shows, for the first time, that color influences men’s behavior toward women in the romantic realm. Color, specifically red, appears to serve as a basic, non‐lexical prime that can influence important (i.e., reproduction‐relevant) behavior in a similar fashion across species.”
So, next time you go out on a date with your man, ladies?
Bring out the red dress.
6. Make a Good First Impression
It’s no secret that first impressions leave a lasting mark.
According to a study published in the journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, first impressions from a photograph of someone can influence another’s judgment of them even after they’ve met.
In the study, people would evaluate others based on their photograph and then meet them. The first impression through the photograph influenced the individual’s judgment of the person even after they met them formally.
When you do decide to muster up the courage to ask your crush out, leave a lasting impression…
It’s a good start for one thing. And sooner or later, they may just be falling for you before you know it.
So, don’t be late to those first meetings.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Lauren Rader on Unsplash