“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” — George Sand
I used to believe that a great relationship should be all sunshine and roses although I knew life is not perfect. Happiness is one of the most important factors that make a good relationship great, and I wanted the fairytale I see portrayed by our media.
I felt disappointed whenever my partner and I had a disagreement, no matter how slight — this did not agree with my image of a great relationship. Whenever I was unhappy, about anything, I projected my frustrations onto him as if it was his fault for failing to keep me happy in the relationship.
Needless to say, that relationship failed.
I have since learned that we can’t control the world, only our reactions to it. Also, happiness is mostly a choice, not a right or entitlement. And it mostly comes from within.
In relationships, with effort and compromise, and both partners practising patience and presence, it is possible to redefine the fairy tale story of love that our media portrays so often.
So, how can we enhance our happiness in relationships?
Love is not just a feeling. Love is an action — many actions. It’s continuous work. It’s something two people must commit to as a daily ritual.
When you’re able to accept this reality and get past the damaging lies about things needing to be perfect all the time, you make room for the true joy of engaging deeply in a great relationship, which holds a powerful, flexible space that widens itself to accommodate the necessary struggles.
“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.” — Earl Nightingale
Here are 7 Surprisingly Simple Ways You Can Enhance Happiness in Your Relationship;
1. Be a happy individual
“Do not rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. “— Stacey Charter
Naturally, happy people tend to make the best possible partners, and they create the happiest relationships. Research indicates happy people may have the best chance of getting married, too.
Keep in mind, happiness, like depression, is contagious. Being around unhappy people will make most people less happy, whereas happy friends tend to lift us up!
Unfortunately, not many people know how to manage a relationship and get the most out of it. The art of building a happy marriage can be elusive and most people could use some training in improving their relationships.
Especially important is learning how to respond to your partner when things are not going well. Or how to stay happy despite the problems that life throws at you.
Happiness is a choice we make.
Sometimes it is as simple as deciding to remain positive despite mounting pressures and problems. Learning how to handle stress is important, too, since stress can rob happiness and goodwill.
Most importantly, to enhance happiness in your relationship, you need to learn to be happy on your own and then bring that sunshine into the mutual space you share with your partner.
2. Schedule time together.
You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it. — Charles Buxton
Yesterday, I read an article by Sinem Günel titled “How to Successfully Run a Business with Your Better Half”. In the article, she mentioned that you can’t hold back on feedback if you want to build a successful business.
But you also can’t be harsh and offensive if you want to run a beautiful relationship. Their number one rule that has led to a happy relationship is the relationship first.
Be intentional about scheduling time together with your partner.
Always schedule downtime with your partner despite how busy your schedule may be. It gives you the time to have quality time together, and this will recharge your spirit in ways you never could have imagined.
To enhance happiness in your relationship, you need to realize that the happiest couples do not find time in their schedules, they intentionally make the time within their busy schedules.
You should put your scheduled couple time into your schedules, write it down and block it in so that it takes priority over any other activities.
3. Ignore what most people think of you.
People have a right to their opinion, and you have the right to ignore it. — Joel Osteen
People will always have an opinion about your life and how you should live it; about your relationship and how you should enjoy it.
The most important opinion should be the one you hold about yourself as an individual and the one you hold of your relationship as a couple.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
If you have an over-preoccupation with perception and trying to please people’s expectations, then you can go mad. You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish.
How would your life be different if you stopped allowing people who don’t matter to poison your mind with their opinions?
Social media has most of us fooled. We mistake our huge followings and social networks of hundreds or even thousands as friends who have earned a say in our lives and relationships and how we get to live. That’s wrong.
To enhance happiness in your relationship, focus on earning and maintaining the trust and respect of the few people in your life who matter — your close family members and real friends.
Love yourself, and love your partner.
4. Laugh in the face of frustration.
Laughing is, and will always be, the best form of therapy. — Dun Voire
The best medicine is a strong dose of laughter and letting go.
When things don’t go as planned in your relationship, laughing or crying are often the only two options left, because they are both instinctive human responses to frustration. Both are okay, but laughing usually feels better.
Sometimes a little self-invoked humor is all you need to lift your spirits and light the path forward. Even in your darkest moments, strive to see the lighter side of a situation and crack a smile.
Doing so will help you think positively and reawaken your confidence about all the possibilities that still exist on the road of your relationship ahead.
Also, learning to laugh through your frustration wires your subconscious to believe that everything can be figured out. That is one of the most effective ways of enhancing happiness in your relationship from the inside out.
5. Compliment your partner.
Everybody likes a compliment. — Abraham Lincoln
I have a dress I bought 2 years ago because I liked its blend of colors. I still have the dress today because whenever I would wear it, my partner would shower me with so many compliments. It would brighten my whole day.
I knew the dress was beautiful when I bought it, but I loved it more as time went on because of my partner’s compliments.
In the process of complimenting your partner, you’ll help them smile, which will help you feel good about yourself. And will in turn enhance the happiness in your relationship.
By looking for the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself.
Everybody, especially your partner, likes a compliment.
Sincere compliments cost nothing and yet can accomplish so much. In any relationship, they are refreshing applause. Whenever you give a compliment, ensure you are being honest.
6. Love your partner
I love you not only for who you are, but who I am when I am with you. — Roy Croft
When someone loves you, they do not always have to tell you in words. You can tell by their actions.
One of the most effective ways of enhancing happiness in a relationship is by keeping love alive.
Love your partner in as many ways as possible. Love them through your words, your actions, your thoughts. Love them in whatever language they desire to be loved.
Love your partner.
7. Manifest happiness into your relationship
“What you think you create. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you become.” — Anonymous
Manifest happiness into your relationship.
The bottom line is that all relationships, including the greatest of them all, require patience and effort for happiness to thrive. And no relationship will work flawlessly all the time.
No matter what happens, or how great a relationship is, there will be struggles present, but you can still focus on the good.
Instead of constantly looking for signs of what’s not working in your relationship, what you need to do is look for signs of what is. Because what we focus on grows stronger in our lives. And that goes for happiness, too.
The floor is now all yours…
How do you enhance happiness in your relationships?
I wish loads of love and happiness in your relationships.
This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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