She started down the dock. A walk she had taken probably a hundred times before. The wooden planks creaked under her footsteps as she noticed the calmness of the bay that day. It was early in the “summer season,” a warm late-spring day. Quiet. Humid. A bit grey. The marsh to the north of the marina was coming alive again after the long harsh winter. The grasses were growing taller and greener. Snowy egrets stood tall by pools hunting for their next meal. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the warm, salty air. A sense of calm came over her. This was one of her favorite walks, located in her favorite place in the world. A small fishing village located at the northern tip of an island. Having spent every summer there since birth, and multiple winters, she considered it home. What she didn’t know that day was this walk would be rather significant. Life-changing even.
She reached the end of the dock and made a right, gazing at the boats rocking peacefully in their slips. Waiting for their owner to pay attention to them. And that’s when she saw him. He was standing on the stern of his boat, fixing something. Dark brown hair against fair skin — yet to be kissed by the summer sun. She had heard stories about him. Pictured him in her mind several times over the years. She had been curious about him. Had wondered for years what he was like. In an instant, she knew that elusive person was now standing before her. Emboldened, she interrupted his work and introduced herself. His smile was warm; his voice kind. His brown eyes locked with hers and sparkled. She watched him as his eyes moved down and up. He scanned her body, taking it all in. She felt exhilarated. No one had looked at her like that in years.
Definitely not her husband.
They chatted a bit, swatting the gnats that had recently hatched and were now eating them alive. They laughed together about how much they disliked the “no see-ums.” And then, they said goodbye. As she turned to walk away, headed home, she could feel his eyes on her. He watched as she meandered her way back down the dock. Her skin tingled, goosebumps rose. He had caused a stir within.
It would be the beginning of their love story, and the end of another. Unbeknownst to her, he had been watching her from afar for years from his deck. And from that moment on, she began to look for him, never knowing why, but always searching.
They wouldn’t see one another again until the following summer. She was out on an evening bike ride, her littlest one sitting in the infant seat behind her. It was the “golden hour” — that time of night when the lighting is perfect just before the sun sets. She pedaled along, enjoying the warm summer night air. Then spotted him. She hadn’t thought too much of him since that first exhilarating encounter on the dock. She was a busy mother and a housewife. But he had crossed her mind occasionally and there was always a longing to see him again. And there he was. Standing in front of a house with family. She stopped to exchange pleasantries and their eyes locked again. As she rode away into the evening, she could sense his eyes on her. He made her feel noticed. Excited.
No one before had ever made her feel that way with just one look.
Three summers after their initial meeting, they met again. Late one August day, as she was sitting on the beach, he walked up, plopped his beach chair down in front of her, and smiled. In that single moment, she knew she would kiss him. And knew she wanted to do more than just that. They spent the afternoon laughing and talking. It felt incredible to feel alive again. He kept his eyes on her while she played with her children in the sand and water, and cleaned up their toys. They realized they both had secretly been hoping to see one another for years, and agreed to meet again.
A whirlwind of an illicit affair started soon after. Exhilarating secret meet-ups in hotel rooms. Long phone calls that stretched into the night. Daily messaging back and forth. They knew it was wrong, yet longed to be with each other as much as possible. It was intoxicating. She craved the attention. Desperate to feel loved and wanted again. He opened her eyes to what love can and should feel like. Taught her how a husband should treat his wife. Ignited passion in her that she never knew existed. And she fell deeply in love with him.
And then it all came to a sudden soul-crushing end. She was devastated — left with unrequited love for him and faced with a monumental decision — whether or not to leave her marriage. She grappled with that decision for months and ultimately chose to leave her husband and start a new journey. On a mission to find happiness and true love. A safe love. She finally recognized that her marriage was not a healthy one. It was abusive. Painful. Lonely. She was unfulfilled on every level — emotionally, spiritually, sexually. She had no other choice but to leave.
So she began a new life. And started to fall in love with herself again. Healing from her past. She hasn’t regretted the affair for a single moment. Their paths crossed for a reason. It — he — was the catalyst she needed to find true love and passion in her life. And for that, she is eternally grateful.
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Previously Published on medium
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