December is the month with the highest number of marriage proposals. With all that love and romance in the air, there’s probably a lot of kissing going on as well. Despite the great line in the song As Time Goes By from Casablanca, a kiss is not just a kiss. For most of us, it means a whole lot more.
What’s behind kissing?
It has long been known that kissing a new partner releases dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with the reward system of the brain. It provides feelings of enjoyment and reinforces pleasurable activities. Dopamine is what’s responsible for the flutters and tingles generated by interacting with a new partner.
The importance placed on kissing led Sheril Kirshenbaum to study this passionate of pastimes and write The Science of Kissing. She discovered that, in addition to the impact of dopamine, a second hormone, oxytocin (known as the love and connection hormone), is produced that will keep you kissing long after the newness of the relationship wears off.
An even more important fact Kirshenbaum discovered is that kissing can give you important information about how good a life match your partner will be. French kissing allows you to sample your partners saliva for hormonal clues to your compatibility. Kirshenbaum recommends plenty of kissing between you and your partner to see if you feel a sizzle. You might even want to consider a make out session as a necessary means to gather scientific data.
Getting close enough to your partner to lock lips also gets your noses up close and personal. It allows us to take a long, slow sniff. Men produce androstenone, a hormone, in their sweat. experiments have shown women to be drawn to chairs sprayed with this hormone, while men avoid those same chairs like the plague. Kirshenbaum believes that androstenone can influence partner choice on an unconscious level. All that heavy breathing can be fun and informative at the same time.
Kissing as a Means to an End
In addition to kissing being enjoyable, it can have secondary meanings as well. Men frequently kiss for a couple of reasons. One is to seek forgiveness after an argument. Despite protestations from women that a peck on the lips after an argument won’t make things right, science shows that the release of oxytocin from kissing actually does make women more inclined to forgive.
The second reason for men to kiss is to increase the likelihood of having sex. A man’s saliva is alive with testosterone. Kissing with the tongue allows men the opportunity to slip their partner some of this hormone to get them in the mood for love. Kirshenbaum believes this is why men are more interested in deep, wet kisses than are women.
Women kiss for slightly different reasons. For them, the amount of kissing is a barometer of the health of the relationship. The more kissing going on, and the more passionate it is, the better the relationship. Less kissing is a sign the relationship is stagnant or, worse, headed downhill.
So, whatever your reason for kissing, if you want to keep your relationship passionate–Just Do It!
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This post was previously published on The Hero Husband Project and is republished here with permission from the author.
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