Figuring out if someone is attracted to you or not can be a tough feat. In the ideal world, everyone could tell you if they are attracted to you, and the other person could say “the feeling is mutual,” or “I don’t feel that way,” and that would be that.
However, we don’t live in that ideal world. Instead, we usually have to look to one’s nonverbal body language to see if someone is attracted to you. Some people are naturals at recognizing body language, and others aren’t. If you fall into the latter camp, here are some signs that they are into you.
Eye Contact
In our society, eye contact is important and can tell us a lot about a person, assuming they are neurotypical or don’t have a disorder that makes it hard to keep eye contact. For most people, eye contact attraction involves looking at you in the eyes for a longer period than usual. Usually, the eye contact still remains even if a person is looking away.
Closeness
Here’s another sign that a person may be attracted to you: how comfortable are they close to you? Someone who is attracted to you will sit close to you whenever they get. Meanwhile, someone who less attracted to you may scoot away from you if they aren’t attracted. There are exceptions to this rule; someone may be attracted to you but not like closeness, or they may respect your boundaries if they are unsure if the feeling is mutual.
Full Attention To You
We’re all guilty of being distracted when someone we’re not interested in is talking to us. However, someone who is attracted to you usually puts their full attention to you and doesn’t find themselves distracted often. We suppose the best go-to example is the phone. Someone who is not into you may be on their phone all the time when talking to you. Meanwhile, someone who is attracted to you may end up silencing their phones.
Watch the Fingers
If someone is attracted to you, they may brush their fingers against their lips or their breast area. It may be something that happens more than once.
They Smile a Lot More
Smiling is an expression that has a lot of nuance to it. Some people will fake smile, or just smile as a way of saying hello. However, when you get to know someone, you can usually tell quite well if they are fake smiling, or smiling for real. With real smiling, if it increases when they are around you.
They Lean Towards You
When a person who is interested talks to you, they may lean towards you. This is to show that they are open to hear anything you have to say. It’s also a sign that they do like closeness, which is another sign that they want to be near you.
Signs They Aren’t Into You
If you’re on a date with someone who doesn’t like you, you may need to get the hint that they’re just not into you. Here are some signs that they aren’t.
The Opposite of the Signs They Are Into You
We aren’t going to be too redundant when we say that a majority of the nonverbal signs they aren’t into you are the opposite of if they were. For example, someone who isn’t into you will be on their phone, not looking you in the eyes, and having an emotionless expression on their face. If you try to get close to them, they may push you away or move further away.
They Look Impatient
When you’re on a date, the person who isn’t into you may show impatient nonverbal signs. For example, they may tap their foot, shift their eyes around, or look like they are daydreaming. To the date, they just wish the date would end already and that you would take the hint.
Crossing Arms
This body language sign is a little bit ambiguous because there are various reasons why someone may be crossing their arms. Usually, crossed arms mean that someone is defensive or at unease, which could be a sign that they aren’t into you. However, these arms could also signal shyness or just be a relaxed position. It’s one of those nonverbal signs that you need to weigh using all the other signs.
There Are Exceptions to Everything
This is a general guide, and we do realize that there are exceptions. For example, socially awkward people may lack eye contact and be distracted on their phones, but they do show interest. Knowing how a person operates beforehand can help you avoid the mistranslations of body language, but of course, asking someone if they are socially awkward can come across as rude.
Conclusion
Body language is complex, but when you get the basics down, you can have a better understanding of what the person is trying to say. While the numbers can vary in regards to how much communication is verbal and how much is nonverbal, most experts will agree that communication is mostly nonverbal. Not knowing nonverbal communications can lead to various faux pas, especially for socially awkward people.
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