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While it’s challenging to make generalizations across the board, men tend to let women be the main communicators in relationships. It just feels more natural to let the woman handle the verbal aspect of things like parenting. But when you study the impact and influence fathers have on their children, it becomes clear that verbal passivity is nothing to encourage or celebrate.
Research says dads need to speak up.
As you can probably guess, babies hear a lot more “baby talk” from their mothers than they do from their fathers. But, according to a study published in Pediatrics, the size of the discrepancy may surprise you.
In the study, researchers outfitted babies with microphones and told parents to only turn them on when both parents were present. What they found was that babies hear three times as many words from moms than dads. Furthermore, fathers rarely engage in baby talk if the mother isn’t a part of the conversation as well.
According to researcher Betty Vohr, who has been studying the effects of early language exposure on babies for more than two decades, this isn’t constructive. We have our work to do in getting dads into this loop and telling them how important they are in terms of infant development,she explains.
Previous research from Vohr and her colleagues indicates that the number of words a small child hears is strongly linked with intelligence and academic success later in life. Additionally, children from affluent households hear 30 million more words by age three than children in low-income households.
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3 Ideas to Communicate to Your Children
Fathers everywhere need to practice being more verbally engaged with their children – all the way from infants to young adults. Not only do words impact intelligence and academic success, but they hold a great deal of weight in terms of shaping a child’s moral, ethical, and social views. As children enter the transformational teenage years, there are lots of formal and informal conversations that need to be discussed. Specifically, fathers would do well to communicate the following ideas to their children:
Distracted driving is deadly.
Over the past few years, there have been numerous “pushes” from state and federal legislators to make teenagers aware of the risks of distracted driving. But despite these efforts, researchers have noticed that half of teen drivers admit to texting behind the wheel (and the rate of distracted driving accidents among teenagers has increased as a result). If you’re going to have a meaningful conversation with your teenager, this is a good place to start.
You aren’t alone in depression.
Did you know that suicide is one of the leading causes of death among teenagers? In most cases, depression is directly involved. The problem is that children don’t always feel comfortable talking about depression since it’s a fairly taboo subject. You need to broach this issue, especially if you see telltale signs.
You have potential.
It’s a bit cheesy to tell a child that they can become anything they want, but it’s true. As a father, you are one of the most influential people in your child’s life. If you tell them that they can or can’t do something, it’s going to have a strong impact on how they see a certain issue. By letting your child know they have potential, you can set them on a path towards success.
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Use your influence for good.
As a father, you have tremendous influence over your child’s development and maturation. While it’s easy to let your wife do most of the talking, resist the temptation to be passive in this area. As research shows, babies benefit from verbal communication just as much as toddlers and teenagers. Speak up and give your child the head start they need to succeed.
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