The women of the world are thriving.
Critics like to think it’s because women are less feminine. But saying a woman is masculine is a below-the-belt remark to her empowerment. It’s an attempt to break her independence. I assumed femininity referred to women using makeup, filters, and wearing dresses. It’s not so.
Lost femininity means women don’t want to be trad wives or stay-at-home partners.
Entire podcasts suggest women who earn more than men are unattractive. I’m referring to a clip posted by the Hardly Initiated Podcast (hardlyinitiated). The best response was, “give a man a mic, and he’ll find the audacity.” Judge Lynn Toler recently appeared on this audio show. She said, “never hit a man where he’s weak.” Yet, this happens to many women daily online. Look at the response to ASAP Rocky and Rihanna’s family Vogue cover.
The double standard needs to stop.
Let me explain what most don’t get about women not being feminine.
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Lost femininity
Collins Dictionary defines femininity as having qualities regarded as characteristic of women and girls, as gentleness, weakness, delicacy, or modesty. 3. suitable to or characteristic of a woman; womanly.
In society’s eyes, Emily Ratajkowski was once feminine. Now? Yahoo! Life labels her as “The Girl Pete Davidson” after her latest dating rumors. Everything about the headline is belittling and odd.
Pete Davidson.
Many say he has “big dick energy.”
But when Emily dates around, she is the “girl” version of a guy. They didn’t even refer to her as a “woman.” This year, Emily is 31. Let us also remember she has a child.
No one remembers she was delicate and taken advantage of by someone she loved.
Ahead of her headlines with Harry Styles, Emily admitted she “didn’t dare to leave ex Sebastian Bear-McClard for a long time.” Why is that accepted femininity? Yet a woman in control of her sex and relationship life isn’t good? That’s weird.
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The Unknown Battle
Headlines paint men as vulnerable. Meanwhile, women show themselves thriving online. Are they doing well in life? Sure. But women face an unknown battle.
Their minds.
Most women are in survival mode. Men cheat on them. They watched their friend’s confidence dry up after dating the wrong guy. Enter all the stories you’ve heard painting unions as unsuitable for women. Men need women. Women need men. That’s how it was when the world first began.
But women realized (in most cases) they could only depend on themselves. It made them act masculine.
If the man leaves, the woman has to be strong for the kids or herself. Take care of everyone. If you’re like me, you put the relationship first. Lose connection with your family and friends. So, who comforts the woman when she cries?
Women prep themselves to be strong daily.
- Financial security with a built business before having kids. (For example, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, and Shay Mitchell. Even you.)
- Self-care to give themselves a deep connection that isn’t sex dependent.
- Mental armor for any gender-based games at work.
All this prep makes women appear tough and resting B face permanent.
Even smiles get faked to please guys when the woman feels unsafe. It’s all too much.
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It’s easy to cast judgment.
Men speak on women’s issues daily — from cat calls to smile suggestions.
It’s hard for a woman to go a day without someone belittling her current emotions. Gaslighting her or being manipulative. Saying women aren’t feminine is right up there on this list.
Women are feminine when they feel safe, loved, and appreciated.
If men created such an atmosphere for the women they claimed to love, women would be feminine. Instead, every other woman is healing. She has her guard up. Each time she rebuilds her walls, they have extra reinforcement. Most men don’t think the climb is worth it. And society is stuck staying away from each other.
A feminine woman won’t (necessarily) become a trad wife or stay-at-home partner. But she will love, care for, and put her family’s needs above her own.
Let’s focus on those little things. Avoid asking women to leave their lives, careers, and friends in the name of love. Broaden the definition of femininity.
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Thank you for reading this post.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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