I was 21 when I set my first weight loss goal.
A smaller waist never appeared until years later. I loved dance and disliked the effort of trips to the gym. I decided who cares how slow the results showed, I’d learn to love myself reflected in the mirror.
A tick next to an achieved goal leaves a black hole.
It’s like virality. You’re so preoccupied with the thought of what life will be like after, you don’t become someone who can maintain it.
Goals and resolutions suck when happiness awaits after accomplishment. Weight loss, money, new job are all sad shiny objects. It’s a clip of Beyonce’s Pretty Hurts with extended scenes over 365 days.
Heavy self-embrace
You’re not a project, you’re the beholder of an evolving lifestyle. It’s not enough to pace a goal throughout the months of any year. Instead, learn how to automate the ‘you’ of your desires.
Quick change example. Make the fit you who does the shopping. And the bored-at-home-need-a-treat you both happy. If not, you’ll be unhappy and create excuses. Just look at the cast from Weight Loss or Finding Love shows — 90% return to their old selves within a year.
Your ability to give 60 seconds to a task. Plus, see this tiny timeframe as worthwhile to your larger cause promotes sustainable achievement.
Coping Catcher
Let’s forget the emptiness of achieving a goal, then not knowing what to do next. Ignore the scares of wondering how to repeat the high of accomplishment.
What about the in-between if all or nothing doesn’t fit?
That’s another area desperate for attention.
Loving the person who wants to pause — but does not feel like a quitter. The “you” who made progress, yet doesn’t want to go any further. Also, the “you” who never started. If you are to be 100% empathetic with yourself, be self-aware.
It’s okay to realize the “you” who wants some exploits doesn’t have the will to strive for them. Maybe right now it’s more essential to work on your mindset than to write the perfect SMART goal or resolution.
Discomforting Peace
The world is an oasis of distraction.
But whenever you focus your attention, results show up. The best outcomes can occur when your attention is potent. Rather than make resolutions because it’s the norm. Identify one inflammatory pain point of your brain-on-fire-with-negative-emotion moments. Spend 365 days dedicated to curing one of these ills.
- What would stop your emotional spending?
- What would make you dislike your job less?
- What would make your days more bearable?
Goals are comforting cop-outs, especially when I enjoy planning more than execution. A blank page serves better in such instances. A case of Sherlock. What have I tried to fix the struggles keeping me away from the life I want most? What does feel too terrible to try again?
Goals
Goals have always kept me choosing the challenging routes.
I went with the solutions of most resistance. I thought this was faster.
Saw it as the only way.
But if you’re open to devoting more time to getting an achievement because goals never worked for you. Go slow. Do the little you can year after year — watch your sustainable consistency gain compound interest.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Erick Butler on Unsplash