Hey There Fella

There are moments when an inspiration hits and you have no choice but to respond to it. This occurred for me last week when I saw a social media post by local multi-faceted creative soul named Joe Wallace. He was sharing information about a line of tools; no not the kind where a hammer hits a nail, or a shovel digs a hole, but they do help create a foundation for building a new life for men. When I learned more, I decided on the spot that I wanted to have a conversation with him about his passion and purpose called Hey There Fella. As the mother of a son and grandmother of a grandson and being blessed over the years to have had many men in my life who exhibit healthy masculinity, this really hit home. Over peppermint tea (me) and chai (him), we sat at a sidewalk cafe in our community and learned about each other’s paths that led us to do the work we are doing. It seems that they have intersected in terms of our social justice sensibilities and we discovered we have people in common, including my cousin Jody. How cool is that?

Joe’s original career goal was landscape architecture which then led to graphic design.

The website for Hey There Fella includes valuable mental health resources.

What prevents men from living as whole human beings?

The invisible rulebook we’ve been handed since childhood. From day one, boys learn there are acceptable and unacceptable ways to exist as a man. We’re taught that vulnerability equals weakness, that asking for help is failure, and that our worth is tied to what we produce rather than who we are. The result? We become experts at performing masculinity rather than living as complete human beings. We learn to compartmentalize, suppress, and soldier on – which works great for short-term survival but fails miserably for long-term thriving.

What are the messages men receive that shaped this mindset?

The classics: “Boys don’t cry.” “Man up.” But the more insidious ones are what we absorb indirectly – that emotional intelligence is “feminine,” that needing others makes you a burden, that your struggles should be handled alone. That we must solve problems through dominance and violence. We watch our fathers navigate the world with stoic silence and assume that’s the only way forward. Society celebrates the “self-made man” while ignoring that no human being is actually self-made. These messages create men who are incredibly capable of handling external challenges but completely unprepared for internal ones.

Why is it crucial for men to experience a full range of emotions and how can they go about that process of identifying and expressing feelings that they have kept repressed?

Emotions aren’t obstacles to overcome – they’re information systems. When we cut ourselves off from the full spectrum of human feeling, we lose access to crucial data about our lives, relationships, and decisions. A man who can’t recognize his own fear makes reckless choices. A man who can’t access his sadness can’t properly grieve loss. A man who’s disconnected from joy misses what actually matters to him. Everywhere we can see the result of men that have not embraced the full spectrum of healthy masculinity. In place of tolerance and respect, we’ve seen a dramatic increase in male violence and misogyny. It’s heartbreaking because their pain is real, but the solutions being offered will only deepen their wounds. I realized we’d been given a blueprint for traditional masculinity that wasn’t working in the modern world, and the alternative being offered by these charlatans was even more destructive. So I created what I wished had existed during my darkest moments – practical tools that acknowledge men’s unique challenges without requiring us to abandon authentic masculinity or embrace toxic substitutes.

Where did the idea for Hey There Fella originate?

The cards came from my own daily practice of trying to rewire decades of conditioning with the help of men who showed me a better way. I needed tangible reminders of healthier ways to think and show up in the world. When I shared them with friends who’d walked through darkness with me, the response was immediate – they needed this too. Hey There Fella was born from the recognition that men need better role models, authentic community, and practical tools for growth. We’re building an alternative to both the stoic silence of traditional masculinity and the toxic rage being peddled online. Because the world needs strong men, but it needs them to be whole, connected, and genuinely powerful – not just performing dominance to mask their pain.

How do the cards address the mental health crises that impact men?

They meet men where we are, not where someone thinks we should be. Instead of asking men to completely overhaul their approach to emotions overnight, the cards provide small, daily insights that build emotional fitness gradually. Each card addresses specific challenges men face – dealing with pressure, navigating relationships, handling failure, building authentic confidence. They’re designed to be practical and actionable, not theoretical. A man can pull a card, read it, and immediately know what to do differently that day. The format matters too. Men often respond better to structured, consistent practices than to open-ended emotional exploration. The cards provide a framework that feels manageable rather than overwhelming.

Can they help improve relationships?

Absolutely. The biggest relationship killer for men is our inability to identify and communicate our internal experience. When you don’t know what you’re feeling, you can’t share it with others. When you can’t share your internal world, true intimacy becomes impossible. The cards help men develop the vocabulary and awareness needed for deeper connection. They address everything from vulnerability in partnerships to being present with children to building genuine friendships with other men. Better self-awareness inevitably leads to better relationships because you’re showing up as who you actually are rather than who you think you should be.

I want people to know that Hey There Fella isn’t about fixing broken men – it’s about supporting men who are ready to grow. The strongest men I know aren’t those who never struggle; they’re the ones who’ve learned to navigate struggle well. That’s what we’re building here: a community of men who understand that the journey to becoming better fathers, partners, friends, and leaders isn’t walked alone.

We’re not trying to eliminate or remove masculinity – we’re trying to expand it to include the full range of human experience and healthy masculinity. The world needs strong men, but it needs them to be whole human beings first.