It’s hard to be a parent. Particularly when you face uncertainty and fear. Many families now are struggling with a loss of income. Other parents face the stress of overwork — if they are first responders, for example, or nurses.
Some parents not only have children to care for but also elderly parents.
Some have ongoing issues with substance abuse that they struggle with. Functional alcoholics, for example, can hold it together when there is structure in their lives — a job they go to every day and community support. For recovering addicts, often their support groups are a lifeline that helps keep them sober.
What happens when these safety nets are gone?
What happens when a parent is home all day with their child? Children who may not understand why they can’t visit their friends or go to dance class or soccer practice? Children who might be bored and demanding?
Even totally emotionally healthy parents might find this a challenging time. For those parents who are on the edge, either due to financial circumstances, work stress, fears for an elderly parent or addiction issues — this might be the last straw that breaks them.
For parents who are already abusive — the normal governors on their bad behavior are gone.
Teachers are often the ones reporting child abuse. But now children are not going to school.
Sometimes neighbors, friends or family members might see bruises and ask questions. But given social isolation, they are much less likely to see the marks of abuse.
What dangers do children face during this Covid-19 outbreak? We know they are less susceptible to dying from the disease, though they are still vulnerable. While we continue to shield them from the virus, what else do we need to do?
What can we do as a society to protect children from abuse during this time?
First, we must do everything we can to continue to support parents. I live in the Austin area, and recently Travis County put a 6 week moratorium on evictions. The federal government passed a stimulus bill to help low-income families that are facing financial pressure, but it won’t be enough.
Nextdoor and other online neighborhood communities in my area are reaching out to people. My church and others have set up video meetings for small groups. Deacons call members and volunteers offer to meet needs for those who are in quarantine.
Hopefully, AA and other addiction and recovery programs can also find ways to continue to support their members.
Wherever you live, if you can, be proactive. If you know of parents who might be overwhelmed and if you are in a low-risk category, consider taking their children for a walk or a bike ride. Something that minimizes your own risk but gives the parents a break. This allows them some breathing room so they can stay calm instead of lashing out.
And keep your eyes open. If you see signs of abuse, report it. With children no longer in schools and no longer attending community events, the normal first responders who report abuse may not see it.
Children in abusive households may no longer have safe spaces they can go to. They are with their parents 24/7, making them more vulnerable. If a child tells you they are in danger, take it seriously. Listen to them, and if you can, offer them shelter until a safe situation can be found for them.
Now is the time for all of us to remember the most vulnerable people in our population and care for them.
We need to look out for the elderly and immune-compromised. We also need to keep an eye out for young children.
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Previously Published on Medium
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