New relationships bring new beginnings and a feeling of nervous excitement. You get giddy at the idea of catching a glance at the mere sight of the person you find yourself constantly dreaming about or feel an electric shock when touching skin to skin.
In the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:1 talks about love very clearly…
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
These words are nearly 20 centuries old and yet still seem to apply to our lives today. Reading this verse can be a reminder of what a relationship should entail and all that love can inspire us to be.
Love is patient.
Love can help us find our “calm” in the face of challenging times.
In life, problems will occur. Stress sooner or later finds its way into our new romance. The partnership gets tested and a person’s true character is exposed based on their reaction to these moments.
How someone assists you when you are sick or helping you navigate through your own quarter-life crisis can be telling in what kind of partner they will be for other seasons in your life. If they are unable to hold your hand through the less enjoyable and crusty moments, how can that love be something you need?
For love to be patient, a relationship should strive to be that peaceful place when we need it the most. We should feel the freedom to say anything and still feel protected and unjudged by the person that is seeing us in some of our ugliest and chaotic times.
Love is kind.
True love inspires us to be the best version of ourselves.
We become the people we surround ourselves with, and a negative partner is like a chemical weathering on your soul. You don’t notice your slow decay at first, but over time you find yourself gradually dissolving.
Initially, the majority of relationships get off to a good start. You find base commonalities with your family and interests. Over time, things may start to change. Your partner may become unhappy with themselves and how unfair they have had it in their life. Sometimes to avoid dealing with their own insecurities and personal struggles they offload unto others they love.
Love is not molding our partner into a lesser version of themself. It is being intentional, thoughtful, and inspiring.
Love is not proud.
“I’m sorry” is something that love comprehends.
Pride shouldn’t win out at a cost of losing the person you love. From the time we are small children, we are taught when we need to apologize when we are wrong. As humans, it’s in our nature to make mistakes or say hurtful words that require us to ask for forgiveness.
If ego and immaturity are preventing such an acknowledgment, then love should be questioned. A relationship wanting to evolve has no room for someone unable to admit when they are wrong. It also has no room for someone that won’t be willing to hear an apology.
Love is messy and imperfect.
Love is not self-serving.
It grows best when it is approached together and not directed by one.
A healthy relationship is not governed by one person putting their interests and gains ahead of the other. Love and joint affection do not grow in a restrictive environment. It thrives best in a support system.
Love is letting go freely. It is having someone encourage you to get a master’s degree, pursue a new career, or even venture into something completely new with no experience for the sake of creating. One should feel heard and untamed to pursue what brings them joy and fulfillment.
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not proud. Love is not self-seeking.
Love is all these things.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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