One of the most annoying lessons of the Universe is that we always get what we don’t want. What we push against, we create and grow. What we resist persists.
Thus it seems you identify with being in a wheelchair, as anyone would, so much that you are having trouble just choosing to be you, just you, a man. You can’t successfully choose NOT how something is… that way you create what you don’t want. You can only successfully choose WHAT you desire, free from referring from the past circumstances.