Are you tired of constant whining from your child? I understand the frustration that comes with this common challenge as whining was my kryptonite. In this must-watch video, I delve into effective strategies and techniques that will help you put an end to your child’s whining.
Discover the power of positive reinforcement and learn how to reinforce desired behaviors while gently extinguishing the habit of whining. Together, we’ll explore techniques that promote emotional regulation, empower your child to express their needs, and nurture a harmonious parent-child relationship.
With a compassionate and empathetic approach, I’ll guide you through real-life scenarios and provide actionable steps that you can implement right away. By the end of this video, you’ll feel equipped with the knowledge and tools necessary to create a peaceful and whine-free environment in your home.
If you’re ready to regain control and restore harmony to your family life, click play and join me on this transformative journey. Say goodbye to whining and hello to a more joyful and fulfilling parenting experience. Watch now and start building a stronger connection with your child today!
Video transcript (edited, please excuse any discrepancies)
Hey guys, in today’s video, we’re going to be talking about one of my least favorite topics: whining. But what makes this video great is that we’re going to talk about how to get your child to stop whining, and that’s what we need. If you’re new here, welcome! I’m Jason Kreidman, founder of Dad University, and whining is my Kryptonite. If you’re not familiar with the Superman franchise and what kryptonite does to Superman, it makes him weak and takes out all of his energy. You add on getting annoyed, frustrated, angry, and many other negative emotions, and you have what whining used to do to me. It can bring a strong grown man to his knees.
Now, I want to share with you some of the techniques and advice that helped me, and maybe can help you fix your child’s whining.
Number one: Understand Why. Understand why your child is whining
Well, it certainly feels like it, they actually aren’t trying to irritate you. Usually, they want your attention. They want something or have some unmet need or desire, and they don’t know a better way to communicate those wants or needs. Whining can also be worse when they are tired or hungry. What we really want to try and do is look past the whining and actually figure out why they are whining.
Think of it yourself.
If I was a toddler and I saw a bag of cookies at the store, I would probably want that bag of cookies too. Or if my parents were talking to somebody else and I wasn’t getting any attention, well, maybe I would whine about something because I really want their attention. In any of these cases, the whining is the result of the child’s inability to communicate what they really want. In all these cases, the whining is the result of the inability to communicate in a way that we really want them to. So you may say, “You know, ask for it nicely” or “Tell me what it is that you need in a normal voice.”
The problem is that most of the time, this child that is whining still hasn’t learned. So, it’s our job to teach them the proper way to communicate. Now keep in mind, this assumes that we know how to communicate.
So, number two: Show Empathy
One of the most important things to do to set the stage for dealing with your child’s whining is to show them empathy. This means put yourself in their place and really feel and experience what they are feeling and experiencing. If you were a toddler in that situation, you’d probably want a cookie too.
Having empathy doesn’t mean that you agree with them or that they get what they want. It just means that you’re trying to understand them. You may say, “I know it’s upsetting to not get that cookie. I can see that you’re really mad. You really want that cookie.” Sometimes the simple act of acknowledging them can halt that whining, but not always. Here’s something else to keep in mind.
Number three: Do Not Reward Whining
Reward whining, your child doesn’t get what they want if they are whining. If you do give in, you are simply reinforcing the behavior that you don’t want to see. The child will make the connection that, “Oh, when I whine, I get what I want. So great, I will continue to whine when I want something.” And oftentimes, parents will just give in because they can’t stand the whining. So just be clear not to ever reward whining. Instead, do number four.
Number four: Reinforce Non-Whining
Reinforce non-whining. When your child requests something or asks for something without whining, provide them a thank you or display of gratitude. If they are consistent whiners but then make a request without whining, show them some gratitude and reinforce that they didn’t whine. “Thank you so much for asking me without whining. I really appreciate that.” They may start to put the puzzle pieces together that when they whine, they don’t get what they want, versus you ask in your normal voice, there’s at least a better chance that I’ll get what I want.
Number five: Give Them an Opportunity to Try Again.
Give them an opportunity to try again. One of the things that we did in our house that really seemed to work was using the phrase “try again.” When our children would whine, we would say, “Try again.” Eventually, they began to understand that whatever method that they were using wasn’t working, but they had the opportunity to try again. And using the term “try again” was also a reminder for me not to get upset and allow my child to have another chance to ask.
Yes, there were times where it took multiple tries. If you are saying “try again” three or four times in a row, then you have to be very clear what it is that you want, which brings us to number six.
Number six: Show Them How It’s Done.
Children usually need to be shown the proper way to do things. So, you may need to show them the differences of a whining voice versus a regular voice. You can do this at some other time when they aren’t actually whining, but to say, “You know, hey, I wanted to show you the two choices that you use.
Here’s the regular voice, and this is the voice you use when you’re talking to us. It’s normal and polite.” For example, “Hey Dad, can I please have a cookie?” Then you have your whining voice, “Dad, can I please have a cookie? I want a cookie. Why don’t I ever get a cookie?” Still may have said please, but it’s your whining voice.
Did you notice how those two sound? There’s a whining voice, and we’re not going to use this voice. It doesn’t get us what we want or need. Listen, your child may not give up their whining voice right away, but using these techniques will help them understand that whining is a losing proposition.
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Now, I’d love to hear from you. Are there any techniques that you have used to help your child stop whining? Leave your feedback in the comment section below. If you want to learn more about how Dad University membership can help you, be sure to visit daduniversity.com. Don’t forget to like this video, subscribe to the channel, share this video with anyone that you think might enjoy it. We’ll see you next time.
About Dad University
Dad University is a one-of-a-kind educational platform for dads. We help men go from overwhelmed and confused to calm and confident father with our courses, videos, live broadcasts, support forum, and more.
Our monthly membership is designed to support fathers through their entire parenting journey. Whether you are a soon to be father, have a young child, or even an experienced dad with older children, everyone can benefit from the tools and resources within Dad University.
Founded by Jason Kreidman in 2012 as a local meetup group, Dad University has grown from a few dads meeting in a spare office space once a month to educating and helping thousands of fathers around the world.
We invite you to join our community and Become a Member. If you are looking for more information about Jason, you can read more about him here:
Previously Published on YouTube
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