Sometimes we’re not ready because it’s just not the right time. And sometimes we’re just scared and playing small. Here’s how to know the difference.
___
“I’m not ready!
… to do what I know I must do.”
I’ve said that countless times at the precipice of some bold new life adventure.
Like every time I feel the call to take a new leap in my coaching business. Or that one time I sat for an hour staring at the “Click to purchase” button for a conference ticket that would cost the rest of my savings (and that transformed my life when I bought the ticket and went).
Then there was the two years I spent not hiring my current life coach (who got more expensive as those years passed) because she would cost nearly everything I had in my bank account and I knew working with her would mean I couldn’t play small anymore.
I also spent four years of precious life in my 30s not ready to leave a stressful, chaotic relationship. Though I’ve walked away plenty from potentially awesome ones.
“I’m not ready.”
I’ve said it and I hear it from clients all the time.
It turns out, however, there’s two very different genres of “I’m not ready.”
1) I’m not ready … because I’m scared to fail.
I don’t have enough money, time, expertise, education, credentials, support, assurances, etc. to do the thing that deep inside I know I must do. I’ll surely fail. The familiar world I know right now, even though it doesn’t really fit me anymore or nourish my soul or even make me feel alive … well, it’s safe. Actually, it’s kinda killing me inside, but it pays my bills and keeps food in my belly. If I leap towards this other thing I know I must eventually do, well, how will I eat and pay my bills tomorrow? Who will love me when it doesn’t work out? What will people think about me when I fail? What will I think about myself? … So I’m not ready.
2) I’m not ready … because I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now.
Deep inside, I know that I’m learning something important by being patient, and by learning to fully embrace where I am and what’s happening in my life right now. I can feel that life is cooking things up for the perfect moment to leap into that bold new adventure. Besides, staying where I am now is a leap in itself, for this current experience is stretching me to keep my heart open and learn the lessons it wants to teach me—lessons that should serve me well when I finally do leap. Soon enough, I’ll surrender to that heart-calling that whispers to me in my quiet moments. For now, though, I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I’m growing stronger everyday. … So I’m not ready.
Which “I’m not ready” are you living in?
♦◊♦
—Turn your dreams into your reality. Transform your intimate relationships. Explore coaching with Bryan @ www.BryanReeves.com
—Want the best of The Good Men Project posts sent to you by email? Join our mailing list here.
—Photo by In Transition/Flickr