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Editor’s note: The Good Men Project is a participatory media company; We’re having a conversation about 21st-Century masculinity and how that affects our society. Premium Members of The Good Men Project have access to benefits not available to others. One such benefit is the opportunity to participate in a weekly one-hour live group phone call with the Publisher of The Good Men Project, Lisa Hickey. During this call, Lisa begins by presenting current events of the week since our last call and how they relate to the mission of The Good Men Project. She then invites open discussion. Following is a summary of the June 24, 2016 call.
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The theme of this week’s discussion was that we are all living in a time of radical change.
On this week’s Premium Member call, I filled in as the facilitator for our CEO and Publisher, Lisa Hickey, as she enjoyed some well-deserved time away visiting with family. I am Mike Kasdan. My role here at GMP has changed a number of times over the years; I am currently serving as the Director of Special Projects.
Change in the world seems to be happening in real-time, like the counterculture that emerged in the 1960’s or, more recently, when the internet first came on the scene. Do you feel it too? Can you describe what this change feels like? How can we talk about the forces at work? And where are we headed?
But it’s not that the world is ending; rather, it’s that the world is changing powerfully.
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I joked that “on the day the world teeters and seems to be collapsing, Lisa Hickey let me moderate the Friday Call.” (Thanks, Lisa!) But it’s not that the world is ending; rather, it’s that the world is changing powerfully. Of course, every generation believes that great and complex changes define it because it’s true.
The big news of the day was The United Kingdom’s decision to leave the European Union (the so-called #Brexit), news of which was hot off the presses on Friday. Earlier in the week, U.S. Senators staged a sit-in on the floor of Congress seeking to press the other side into a vote on gun regulations in the wake of the Orlando nightclub shooting.
The common thread? Each demonstrates that we seem to be in a great cultural war and that our elected representatives are not its leaders.
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We discussed the importance of understanding the other side’s feelings and motivations as crucial to finding a path forward. We can and should talk about big issues—fighting to root out racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia—but we must also understand and address the very real feelings of scarcity, economic pain, and displacement in the social order that seem to be motivation for the rise of Trump and the Brexit. Scarcity drives fear and anger; the feeling that it’s a zero sum game and someone else is gaining rights or power means you are losing.
[W]e must also understand and address the very real feelings of scarcity, economic pain, and displacement in the social order that seem to be motivation for the rise of Trump and the Brexit.
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We must also understand that in times of great social upheaval—marriage equality, LGBT rights as examples—there are those who feel “morally unsafe,” to use a term coined by Marty Josephson: The very values and moral beliefs about “abortion, gender roles, homosexuality, the correctness of a certain religion . . . at the core of their lives,” are shifting beneath their feet.
We are seeing the manifestation of that in a great and powerful backlash against otherness—against immigrants, against transgender people, against Muslims. All of these tie into the anger and frustration so many of the “old guard” are feeling, and we see it in everyday conversations on gun control, rape culture, racism, and gender roles.
We talked about the power of the internet to shine a light but also the power of the media to manipulate. As I said earlier this week, we thought we were evolving towards a post-racial world but instead, we’ve devolved into a post-factual one. Facts are spun at what seems to be an unprecedented level. Lies are bought and sold as truth.
For the privacy of the members who participated, they will be referred to with alpha-sequencing.
Member A reminded us that the “unprecedented” Democratic sit-in that occurred this week actually happened just eight short years ago when the Democrats walked out and the Republicans followed a similar strategy to seek to force a vote on a bill. We don’t know our own history, a symptom of living in a post-factual world.
Member B questioned the very premise that we were ever in a “factual” world, and stressed that people have always been manipulated and controlled by those in control. The Brexit, where many seem to have voted on something they didn’t understand is just the latest example of a public that is not well-informed or only informed with a certain set of facts but not others. He also explained that while “all of this is true, it is not new;” and that as a person of color it is clear that there has long been a lack of honesty in our institutions, a certain narrative that is reinforced as truth. While asking good questions and seeking to change the status quo are excellent values, “just believing really hard enough” isn’t going to change the world.
Member C urged the importance of continuing to speak our truth and of not giving up, and he also stressed the importance of liberals understanding the feeling by a great many men that they are hurting and that nobody cares about them. We need to understand that pain, address people where they currently are and act to make a change.
Member D shared that when we feel these scale of these social issues are too much to bear, it is important that we focus on affecting change in our own circle of influence, that they may ripple for the greater good.
Member E reminded us that like A Tale of Two Cities, it is both the best of times and the worst of times. All the news is not bad. Two examples he raised were the rise of NGOs to address social issues and the recent FCC “net neutrality” ruling. He stressed that this is our history unfolding before our eyes, and that we need to help drive a different conversation about the values that we want as a people. He also underscored that as a matter of human history, the better of our consciousness often shows up after the worst breakdowns.
Member F noted that while the influence of power brokers and corporations in our social fabric is unquestionable, and money clearly talks, we don’t always have to listen, and that we always have a choice as to whether we push for a common good or are in it for ourselves as individuals alone.
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What continued to give me great hope was a profound Facebook post I saw from my friend “T” this week in which she explained how she evolved from a 10-year-old Ronald Reagan supporter to someone with liberal values and worldview: (i) By exposing herself to the viewpoints of the other side and having less fear of those that are different; (ii) by being careful about shutting down conversation by using absolutist language, like “evil,” (iii) By life and work experiences – her’s were at Planned Parenthood and Legal Aid that helped her to understand “the complexity of racism, sexism, violence, lack of services, lack of healthcare, lack of mental health services, lack of education, and the cycle of poverty,” and (iv) watching her mother as a single parent and the revelation that the whole “if you just work hard you can do anything in this country” was not true and that it’s far more complex.
These are all things we discuss at The Good Men Project every day. The inside conversation shows us the path ahead. We have work to do. Will you join us?
Click the photo below to sign up now. Then you will be welcome to join us on the next Friday call with the Publisher for Premium members.
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More Inside the Conversation
But Where Do Men Go From Here? | The Man-Box is Inherently Traumatic | How Storytelling Changes People | Somewhere Between Free Speech and Hate Speech |
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Photo credit: Flickr/Surian Soosay