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Is it possible to fall in love after just one look?
This is an age-old topic, and there is no shortage of opinions on the subject. After asking a number of women and men, there is one overriding truth, yet I’ve come away from my research without a clear-cut answer.
Most people seem to think that the concept is true, but when I probed I found out that there were other steps necessary for connecting beyond a random look. And there are plenty of instances where people thought it was love at first sight, but things never developed.
For guys, there is plenty of lust at first sight.
We all know that dudes are visual. If a woman who looks like Megan Fox happens to strut by, most red-blooded All-American males would feel a rush come over them. Men are visual and immediately respond to the purely physical assets of a woman. I’m not condoning judging someone solely on their looks, but it’s not going to change that much. The best we can hope for is that the female object of desire has an energy that the man connects with. That goes a long way in turning something from a purely physical attraction into something potentially more long-lasting.
So what happens in this scenario? A guy sees his “type” and he is attracted. Then he follows his you-know-what and makes contact with the woman with whom he thinks he’s found “love at first sight”. Then, over time he realizes that she does not fit most of his other criteria. Maybe she hates sports or meat or New Jersey or his music, but it soon becomes apparent that this is not a good match.
Most guys will hang in there until the woman cuts them out, not bothering with any circumspection that could help them become more self-aware and sensitive to themselves, and the fact that women are more than just pretty creatures.
On the flip side, I have been told by a number of guys that as soon as they met their partner, they knew that she was “The One”. That’s great, but that was after they had an actual conversation, date, or something more than a lecherous look at their girl.
The first time I saw my wife I was waiting on the church steps at the corner of 79th Street and Broadway. I looked across the street diagonally and she was the first person that I laid eyes on. When we actually met at the adjacent corner, she greeted me with a smile and I gave her a hug. I had never hugged upon meeting a first date, so maybe I experienced a form of “love at first sight”.
For women, there is usually more than a guy’s looks.
Consider this. Women are into men’s looks more than ever, but at the same time, women tend to dig a bit deeper. Sure, women have their types also. Tall, sparkling eyes, washboard abs (good luck with that), a cute butt; they’re common physical characteristics that women like to see in a guy. But there are also the intangibles.
Women think through and discuss a lot of guy-related issues ad nauseam with their girlfriends, and thank goodness they do. But often, by the time a dude says hello, he’s already been sliced, diced. and in many cases, flung into the scrap heap before he’s had a fair chance to connect with her.
On the other hand, women have intuition, and many of them are sensitive to a guy’s energy. So if a guy’s creepy, they know. And if he has a nice smile, they might be willing to overlook his khaki pants, cargo shorts, or tribal tattoo—at least for the first date. Lots of women I know insist that they knew that when they met their guy, they knew that he was “The One”. But they all stated that they knew when they actually “met,” not when they looked at him. A-ha.
There is no set answer to this question about “love at first sight”. But wouldn’t it be great if we all looked a little closer and a bit deeper at our potential partners before decreeing that they were either toast or “The One”?
Do you believe in “love at first sight”?
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