As someone with three brothers, all older, my natural curiosity plus chosen field gets the best of me whenever I see them. Though I may have heard over the years of some general health concerns they have, that’s rarely what catches my eye first.
I marvel at their graying hair, to be honest. I don’t get to see them often so for some reason this is the marker that reminds me “hey, they’re aging too.” I see them and pay attention to their personalities, sense of humor, disposition and can’t help but look back at all the men I’ve cared for over the years.
Wondering if the same trait that doesn’t phase my younger sister status, is the one that is going to drive another to frustration. Or will the odd fastidious trait be the one that actually helps them structure their days.
I’m thankful they all have someone in their life who loves them, significant others and children are the first in line as we age to help us along. The bond between siblings so tight they come in next usually, to fill in the gap of the above two. By gap I mean non-existent, sometimes strained relationships as well, which will open the door to a sibling stepping into a bigger role.
In my professional career, I saw more sisters step up for brothers than visa versa. This may just be my experience but it’s my reference point nonetheless. There’s a tenderness between siblings I see that can be missing in other relationships. Perhaps it’s the silent shared bonds of a lifetime of history and growing up together. Perhaps it’s the ease of allowing bygones be bygones and the trust built on throughout the years.
I doubt I will have a role in my brothers aging journey, beyond educating and navigating systems if ever needed. I’m always going to encourage the cultivating of adult relationships and healing of issues early on since none of us can really know what life has in store for us. Sometimes it’s a sibling who does what no one else will.
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