Visiting is over. I give a hug that I will miss.
by John Rodriguez
As I sit there and dwell
my head spins while
trying to balance the worlds of love and hurt
She grabs my hands
and I don’t know if she sees
that they’re tattered and beat
but not physically.
I wonder if they look at me
and feel disgust for a fool covered in concrete.
They wait in long lines
And drive down miles of open road
to see if I will respond
and in a way learn to love again
and not be afraid to have friends
and not scared to show my feelings
but understand my life has meaning
besides simmering in a pool of iron
where boots clank and the years wave goodbye.
For these few seconds I have it under control.
A world is at ease
my hands sweat with remorse
and learn to ignore the hate and negativity that has
built up inside me.
But the speaker announces
I give a hug that I will miss
and spin away
who make me feel like I’m worth living.
They smile but I know
it hurts them as much as it does me.
A feeling of gain and loss
a true oxymoron.
Out they go
back to their iron-touched lives
and I pass through the doorway
that leads to negativity.
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