I was confident that my husband could accomplish anything. I wasn’t prepared for the day he made his dream come true.
I am married to an entrepreneur. Having been married for almost 17 years, I was confident that my husband could accomplish anything he put his mind to. I wasn’t prepared for the day he made his dream come true.
I believed that once we began to live the dream, our life would be struggle free. Life does not ever come without difficulties; we exchanged one set of circumstances for another.
Every day can be a constant struggle when you don’t have a way to communicate like you normally do. You have to learn to adapt, and communication is key. Sometimes the entrepreneur’s journey can take them away from home and they can be gone for three weeks out of a month.
No one tells you that success might take your partner to a country 4200 miles away with spotty internet.
While they are living their dream, you might suddenly find yourself struggling with your own self-identity. Who are you when your spouse is so successful?
My husband travels a lot for work and can’t always be there to nudge me to work out. It’s important that you learn to motivate yourself. I created an exercise routine for myself, lost 15 pounds, and rebuilt my self-esteem and identity separate from being my husband’s wife.
I have a supportive partner who motivates me and encourages independence, rather than dependence. He encouraged me to be independent and take care of myself. Being in charge of the household, I make the decisions with managing time and money. I have a role in our family’s success and it’s just as important as his.
Maintain control in your own life
My husband’s so busy that it’d be easy to cater life to his schedule, to make things easier for him. It was important for me to learn that I exist in this relationship, too, and that my time and my schedule mattered. I’ve learned the importance of establishing a routine and scheduling time for myself. It prevents loneliness.
Of course, if your spouse is away often, too, you’ll be managing things at home alone. You’ll need to learn to say “no” to some events or activities while also knowing when to say “yes.”
Make communication about more than tasks
With limited time together, it’d be easy to limit communication to things that need to be done or managed but it’s important that you don’t lose your affection in your communication. You can’t be together to hold hands or hug. Your words matter.
Whether it’s a daily “Good Morning”, or midday “I love”, or “miss you”. Show affection with your communication. Your spouse is extremely important and your relationship should never be placed on the back burner.
Empathize with them when they are away
It’d be easy to barrage my husband with a hundred things while he is away but I’ve learned to prioritize our communication.
Make a list of what you need to talk about with your partner and take note of their real importance. Can it wait until your partner comes home? Would they be upset not to have been included?
It’s stressful on our partners to be away. They manage homesickness, timezone differences, different languages and cultures. It’s a lot. Being supportive and empathic isn’t just about managing things at home. It’s important that you’re aware of what it’s like for them to be away from it, too.
Make every moment together count.
Don’t just catch up on tasks and to do lists.
Make it a point to spend quality time together. Focus on enjoying the things you love doing together. Making the most of your time together makes it easier to be apart.
Life does not ever come without difficulties.
You’ll have to work harder than some when your partner travels extensively. Distance is sometimes the cost that comes with success.
Photo Credit: Nguyen Vu Hung (vuhung)/Flickr