Most men are taught to wear masks from a young age, to prove their worth through a societal construct of “manliness.” These days we can see the pain and isolation this has caused men. Today’s guest shows you how to break down these constructs to reclaim yourself and your life.
Men are taught from a young age what it is to be “manly.” You likely don’t remember the first time you were guided to suck it up or hold it in, because boy and girl babies are often treated and raised differently. Before you learned to speak, you may have known that “boys don’t cry,” or that you would get more love or respect if you showed strength rather than fear.
Today’s Man Alive podcast guest has worked with more than 300 organizations, talking about authentic masculinity, equity, allyship, leadership and sexual violence prevention. He understands men and the masks they wear, and has been on his own journey of Unmasking. He is the author of the upcoming book, Unmasking: Toward Authentic Masculinity.
In our rich and important podcast conversation we discussed:
- Society’s demands and how men are taught to wear masks
- The process of “Unmasking” and breaking free from external expectations
- How we silence boy babies and young boys
- How to step into integrity and authenticity in a world that doesn’t always support it
- How to come to know your true identity and integrate this into your life
Keith is an inspiring example of a man who is a strong and powerful leader, who also integrates his more vulnerable side into his life and work. When you’re done with this one, check out another great episode on waking up out of mechanical masculinity, and the liberating power of compassion and connection for men.
Links:
Connect with Keith
Keith is a dad first. He lives with his partner Jamie and their two daughters in Minneapolis. Keith helps transformational leaders make the complex uncomplicated for leadership, learning, and equity. His expertise includes authentic masculinity, sexual violence prevention, allyship and equity, learning beyond the classroom, and leadership and coaching.
Keith is the author of Unmasking: Toward Authentic Masculinity and has consulted with 300+ organizations and written over 25 articles and book chapters. He is a certified coach with 1,000+ hours of coaching college presidents, corporate and nonprofit leaders, and independent scholars and activists. He co-authored The Curricular Approach to Student Affairs and coedited Addressing Sexual Violence in Higher Education. His TEDx Talk on preventing sexual violence has been viewed around the world.
Check out Honest Sex, a new book author Shana James.
Some say we are outgrowing marriage as a culture. However, the problem that author Shana James regularly sees as a relationship coach—and through her own divorce—is that many of us have not matured enough to create the emotionally-connected, sexually-satisfying relationships we long for.
Honest Sex teaches us what kind of honesty is effective for creating closeness, what sex actually is (rather than what we’ve been taught), and how to communicate desires and upsets to create more intimacy. By examining new ways to sustain connection with a partner, author Shana James illuminates a framework for relationships to start strong and get more intimate and exciting over time.
James is the creator and host of the Man Alive podcast and has a TEDx Talk, “What 1,000 Men’s Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and Women.” As a relationship coach for 20 years, she humbly discovered the causes of disconnection and distrust in relationships, as well as how to build trust and keep passion alive. Her first book, Power and Pleasure: A Man’s Guide to Becoming a Confident and Satisfied Lover and Leader, supports men to be fulfilled in love and work. In this book, written for all genders, she uses her Master’s in psychology, DISC, and Positive Intelligence certifications to guide readers to create more honest and passionate romantic relationships.
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Previously Published on shanajamescoaching.com