You think it is just another chat.
You think it is to kill boredom and enjoy some fun time.
But believe me it is just a trap.
A trap which looks simple and innocent but can turn into a relationship nightmare.
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Many times we indulge into online chat without thinking much.
The chat can be with a complete stranger which you met in some online platform.
The chat can be with a common friend.
The chat can be with a colleague of your department.
It can be innocent, it can be fun and it can be just about the weather.
But you never know when a chat can turn into cheating your partner.
Many times chats are started as a casual chat but eventually turned into cheating in long term relationship.
But when should we consider chatting as a cheating.
Let’s delve deeper.
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Emotional connection — Emotional cheating occurs when one partner is slowly yet strongly makes an emotional bonding with an online friend. It can start with sharing small everyday problems and then rolls into sharing more personal details, sharing relationship issues and dark fantasies about life.
This emotional infidelity become very difficult for the other partner because it involves a significant level of emotional investment which impacts the long term relationship.
Sexual intimacy — Sexual connection or intimacy need not be physical. In online world sex chats, sending nude photos and videos are definitely a form of online infidelity. Sex is a very intimate act and when someone crosses the boundary with digital content, that deeply violates and betrays the relationship boundary between the long term partners.
Negligence and secrecy — I am a first hand victim of these. This happens when your partner starts protecting his or her digital assets i.e. — smart phone and laptop very often. Also you will see that the partner become negligent of your need and sometimes your illness also not bother them. From my practical experience, I can tell you this hurts a lot. Pretty lot. And this is a strong form of infidelity.
Concealing relationship status — This is a common form of infidelity. People who are looking for relationship outside marriage often do not tell others about their present relationship status. Often they keep mum about it in online social media and dating sites. They do not share their family pictures to pose as single and ready to mingle.
Taking steps to meet offline — Many times the online relationship extends to offline meets, sexual encounters and spending time together. This is an perfect situation where someone wants to go to the next level where the infidelity is old-school and absolutely physical.
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Many times we think an online chat is just another casual interaction.
But surprisingly it is not.
It can make your partner feel cheated and emotionally vulnerable.
In this hyper-connected world, we need to slow down and talk your heart out with your partner and spouse.
Ask about their likes, dislikes and open about your needs and desires.
This gives much space and emotional strength to your long term relationship.
Next time when you indulge in a casual online chat, take a step back and ask yourself — “Am I doing it consciously?”
Research references :
The Pursuit of Romantic Alternatives Online – https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1308450
Perceptions of Infidelity – https://interpersona.psychopen.eu/index.php/interpersona/article/view/3607
Fooling Around on Facebook – https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15332691.2014.1003670
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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