My greatest assumption by far is that most people are not even close to doing what they love.
What they’re meant for?
What they’re destined to be?
It doesn’t matter how you say it.
All that matters is that we seek it.
…
I’ve tried ten different things and the art of writing and speaking is as close as I’ve come that makes sense.
How can we recognize what it is, this love of something, if we can’t prove the most solid version of it?
If we’ve mutated from one thing to another, each feeling closer to who we are, how do we know that what we love is not just another step; a love missing an even more clear and intense affection that we haven’t yet felt?
And what about when we correlate that not only to life purpose but to love itself, to chosen lifestyle, to beliefs, to life fulfillment?
There are two things I know for sure.
…
But, only because I’m human. And being human means that we all share some things, even if we don’t like to admit it.
And it’s taken years to realize that I’m not unique in my thinking. Everyone feels these ways at least temporarily.
Finding what we truly want from life is the hardest thing any of us will ever do(if we believe that it’s worth seeking). Not just because it takes a lot of philosophical thought, but because we are ever-evolving. Even if we find the “one thing” there’s no guarantee it will continue to be number one.
We have to face our traumas, our insecurities, our emotions, and the world itself.
It’s like putting together a puzzle that moves like a kaleidoscope.
2. We’re all so f*cking afraid of not having our shit together and not being seen as capable, we constantly lie about how put together and capable our shit is(is shit capable?)
When we speak to the world we repeat whatever thing sounds most fantastic and prideful, regardless of the discomfort we have about if it sounds worthy enough.
We feel uncomfortable, uneasy, flawed…fabricated.
…
We’re always seeking answers.
Answers to human existence, worldly challenges, and personal greatness.
But, what about internal morality? Purpose? Accepting ourselves and the inevitable unknowns of our own souls?
The world itself was never meant to give us answers. It’s only there to show us beauty and to whisper clues to us about the connections between us and it.
So yeah….this shit is tough.
Then you insert the human and its collaborative existence.
The most complex organic and powerful entity we know to exist which is capable of internal, external, and genocidal destruction.
And?
It doesn’t mean we can’t find our way.
It doesn’t mean we can’t be lost.
It doesn’t mean we can’t be okay with wandering.
If we never wandered around in our own souls how could we ever answer it’s call to us?
…
The Truth is…
The lie sucks.
And it only puts out our fire like a flame in a closed bottle.
We’re so afraid to be incapable that we’ll lie about it. We’ll act exuberant and confident and influential.
Yet, inside we’re mostly afraid.
Not because we haven’t figured out how to make waves financially, socially, and environmentally, but because we’re afraid for anyone to see us at our worst.
Fear of the truth.
We’re distracted by it.
Overwhelmed by it.
Consumed by it.
We’re afraid when we lose ourselves. When we second guess even the most concrete parts of our lives. When we can’t stand to look into the mirror at someone who all of a sudden seems like a complete stranger.
It’s not that we’re not amazing.
It’s just that we’re so afraid to not be.
…
I’ll admit it first.
I’m afraid.
Every day.
But maybe I don’t have to be if I can say it. Or maybe I don’t have to be as often.
Okay, now you go…
Truth and Love Reader.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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