Jordan Gray says that it’s time that we really started to ‘show up’ in our sex lives. Here’s how.
There is a serious affliction sweeping the world.
People are having sex. But that’s not the bad news. Not at all.
The bad news is that they’re having sex mindlessly.
Imagine being on a Hawaiian beach for a visually stunning sunset… but standing with your back to it.
Imagine being offered the most expertly prepared meal in the world… and letting it sit in front of you for half an hour until it’s room temperature before you touch it.
Or being sat in an acoustically perfect room to hear a live symphony orchestra perform your favourite song in the world… and listening to it with ear plugs in.
It’s a waste.
We need a revolution in how we have sex.
And men, I’m looking at you.
The Taoist’s believed that the feminine associated partner (most often the female partner) is responsible for the openness of the sexual act… and that the masculine associated partner (usually the male partner) is responsible for the depth of it.
So, in sex, both partners can only go as deep as the man can go. The masculine energy penetrates, the feminine energy opens. But the feminine only opens to the degree that the masculine can truly be there to penetrate.
So if the man is stuck in his head, hesitant, and unsure of himself… then that will make his feminine, mirroring partner to be equally as self-conscious and in her head.
Guys… once and for all. No more thinking about baseball. No more fantasizing about other women. No more dissociation. No more retreating into yourself.
It’s time to re-sensitize to what we’re doing… to re-awaken to the fact that we have our one juicy, delicious goddess right in front of us.
So how do you start bringing more intentionality to your love life? I’ll keep this simple.
It all comes back to presence and passion.
What Is Presence?
Presence is full engagement. It’s laser beaming 100% of your attention on to your partner.
It’s letting your eyes tell them “I see you. I f*cking see you.”
It means putting your hands all over her. Tuning in to the beautiful, delicious woman in front of you. Drinking her in with your breath. Feeling every part of her with your lips, your hands, and your heart. Loving, accepting, and adoring every inch of her.
Presence is breathing your way into the moment, dialling fully into your pleasure, and dropping into your body so that you can enter her with all of yourself.
You must fully penetrate yourself before you can dive into her with every piece of you.
What Is Passion?
Passion is emotion that courses through you that you just barely have control over. It is pure aliveness. It is ecstatic, raw energy. And when you focus that passion on your partner like she is the only thing that you need in that moment… she will open to you like you have never experienced before.
Take handfuls of your lover like you’re greedily grabbing handfuls of food after a forty day fast. Smell her. Taste her body. Cherish every inch of her being… physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Let work, worries, and the world fall away from your mind. Give her everything you have. Take the fullness of yourself, penetrate her with that energy, and break yourself and her open with it simultaneously.
This Life Is Possible, And It’s Waiting For You
When you meet your lover with presence and passion, a new world of sexual connection opens up to the both of you.
You will feel inspired by the depth, devotion, openness, and love in your partner’s eyes when you start showing up for her like she needs you to.
Her eyes will appear as a deep ocean of love that call out to you, “I will follow you anywhere.”
When you can truly ravish your woman, mind, body, and soul, she will open to you as you’ve always known she was capable of opening.
Can You Ravish Her Open?
Upon hearing this new model of making love, many men consistently voice the same three concerns to me.
1. What if I don’t feel inspired by my woman to truly be there with her? What if she doesn’t excite me like I want her to?
As with most things life, you either have to try harder or end it. If you’ve already tried everything you can, then you have to give her up so that she can have the space in her life for a partner who is able to love her like she deserves to be loved.
2. What if I tap into my deep, authentic sexual animal and it scares her? What if it’s too much for her?
As long as you have some sliver of control over yourself and you are consistently connected to her heart at all times (aka not simply retreating into your head for purely selfish pleasure) then she will not be afraid of what you have to show her. She’s likely more afraid that you don’t have the capacity for the kind of aliveness that she deeply craves from you.
3. What if, by fully experiencing my pleasure and being in a state of heightened awareness of her beauty in front of me, I climax faster than I normally would have by being disconnected from her and my pleasure?
Great question… to which I have a two-part answer.
First, I have to challenge that mindset.
Most women would rather have 45 seconds of deeply heart connected sex than 45 minutes of energetically empty sex where you’re more focused on impressing the clock than her.
When there’s nothing left to fear you can make love like you’ve always wanted to.
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This post originally appeared at JordanGrayConsulting.com
Photo courtesy of DollarPhotoClub.com
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