There’s a whole host of dating apps at our fingertips. But with so much choice on offer, are they helping or hindering us in our quest to find The One? Me, the second one.
I talk about myself a whole time, my feelings, my gut, all of them are the subjective perspective as me, a woman. Often I’d blame a guy who I’ve met on the dating app for anything they have done to me. For example, when they are did not bring their condoms or even when they make me fall in love with them, and I realized, I was so selfish.
So because I’m so curious about what man feels on the dating app, I was making a super tiny survey on my Instagram story and the result surprisingly unpredictable.
. . .
Are you a dating app user?
Only 46% answered yes. What’s on my head is every man should be on the dating app for hookups or any other casual dating but the result is 76% guys on my Instagram using dating apps for finding a serious relationship.
A few of my Instagram friends convinced me that dating apps are making many men miserable. They told me that men are suffering from the complacency of easy access and the tyranny of endless choice. Several guys have complained of how app dating is making them feel worthless.
How about girls you’ve met online?
And I know I was a fool, I easily judged guys I’ve met online without mirroring myself. I used to don’t care what guys think about me, I thought I was cool on the dating apps but hereafter the confession from my Instagram buddies about girls they have met online, I want to die.
The serial online dater
They said this kind of girl is a great player. She won’t date the same guy every night. She even never gives her number because she doesn’t use online dating sites to look for love! She intends to ensure that she never has to cook for herself by being treated to dinner every night. And Hi, this is me.
The cake face
Honestly this confession a little bit offended me. Okay, do not get me wrong: I truthfully admit that sometimes the only reason girls wear makeup to impress guys and sometimes even other girls. However, most mornings, I can honestly say the only person I put on make up for is myself. When I have makeup on, I feel good. I don’t feel ugly without it, but it gives me that extra confidence boost that you need once in a while.
But, this what on many man’s heads; “Why not go for the more natural look?”
That was our most natural look, it’s called no-makeup makeup look. Because we sure you guys won’t see our pale lip and saggy eyes on the first date.
The tease
This is the girl who immediately joined an online dating site after the end of her last relationship. The point is that it was too soon! Eventually, man will find out they were a rebound when she breaks their poor little online heart and makes her way back to her ex-boyfriend. I don’t even see this kind of girl in me.
The clingy one
They always attractive on the first date, they are cute, interesting, fun, and smart (it looks like me — lol). They seem normal during the first few conversations a man shares with her. Then the nightmare begins. They will continuously text and call a man she’s met — at all hours of the day and night — to ask that man if they’re mad at her and why a man is ignoring her. If she cons a man into a second date, she will most definitely be introducing you to her parents as “the one.” Even my parent doesn’t know I’m on the dating apps.
The one
The perfect woman. Rarely does she pop up but some men have been lucky enough to find the woman of their dreams through online dating! She’s everything every man ever wanted — attractive, smart, funny, cool, fun, and entertaining. Thank Tinder, not God!
So, where is this going?
I think I’m the only one who asked this question to a guy I’ve had sex with to make everything clear because I can’t handle the mixed feeling. 57% of my Instagram friends asked the same question to their dating app dates. Even the man in the non-straight dating apps.
They are expected for the clear answers as well, and actually, they wanted to be settle. The reason, why they act like they don’t care and don’t want a serious relationship, is they have a niggling fear that they’ve lost the art of finding or maintaining a meaningful relationship because sex is in the age of dating apps.
The shallow among us may enjoy this dynamic, but for many it is unsatisfying. While most men have a voice in their heads urging them to sleep with as many women as possible, the truth is promiscuity isn’t for everyone.
. . .
Many of them hit my Instagram DM to confess their actual feelings about being in dating apps.
“I’ve met her on Tinder and I felt used, she asked me to be her company. We were living together at her place for months, but once I asked her what we were, she said we were nothing. I thought she fall in love with me but she wasn’t” — R, 27.
“What were girls wanted from dating app? They have swiped me right but never answer my message. What’s wrong with Hi from me? Better to unmatch me that left me hanging” — F, 22.
“I met a girl on Bumble, we date once and he asked me to marry her. She’s freak” — A, 29
“She gives the best blow job I’ve ever had, but then she’s gone” — J, 28
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Unsplash