Relationship advice is everywhere these days.
Even random lesbians on the Internet give it away for free *cough*.
But let’s be honest: a lot of it is bullshit. “Opposites attract”. Attract what, problems?
Blindly following relationship advice can be more harmful than helpful, taking us down paths that aren’t right for us or for our partners.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the most ridiculous relationship advice out there.
“Never Go to Bed Angry”
It sounds good in theory — after all, who wants to go to bed feeling upset or frustrated with their partner? But the truth is, sometimes you just need to sleep on it.
You need to step back and give yourself time and space to cool off before you can come back to the issue with a clear head.
Studies have shown that going to bed angry can sometimes be the healthier option. Of course, this isn’t to say that you should just ignore your problems and go to bed angry every night. The point is that, sometimes, giving yourself time to process your emotions can be more beneficial than trying to force a resolution in the moment.
So the next time someone tells you to never go to bed angry, take it with a grain of salt. While it might work for some couples, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution to relationship conflicts. Sometimes, a good night’s sleep is just what you need to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the issue at hand.
“Opposites Attract”
Ah, the classic adage of “opposites attract.” It sounds romantic, doesn’t it? The idea that two people with wildly different personalities or interests can come together and form a perfect match. But in reality, the myth of opposites attracting can lead us down a path of disappointment and heartache.
The truth is, while some differences can add excitement and depth to a relationship, too many can cause conflict and tension.
Say you’re someone who values punctuality and your partner is constantly running late. It can quickly become a source of frustration and resentment. Similarly, if you have fundamentally different values or goals in life, it can be difficult to find common ground and build a life together.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and some couples do thrive on their differences. But in my experience, the healthiest and happiest relationships are often those where partners share similar values and interests, while still allowing each other room to grow and evolve as individuals.
“Happy Couples Never Fight”
It’s easy to think that disagreements and conflicts are bad news. But here’s the real deal: every couple has their fights from time to time, and it’s totally fine.
Actually, avoiding conflict altogether can be a warning sign in a relationship. If one partner’s always dodging the tough topics or sweeping things under the rug, it can lead to bitterness building up and eventually exploding.
Of course, fighting all the time isn’t healthy either. The key is to find the sweet spot between avoiding conflict and laying it all out there when there’s an issue. Knowing how to fight fair and constructively is a big part of keeping any relationship healthy — trust me.
Research has shown that how couples fight is more important than how often they fight. Couples who can work out their differences with active listening and compromise tend to have stronger, more resilient relationships in the long run.
So next time you find yourself arguing with your person, don’t panic. Use it as a chance to practice healthy communication and work things out like a team. Remember that a little conflict can actually be a good thing for a strong relationship.
“Love Is Enough To Make a Relationship Work”
Love is a powerful feeling, and it’s usually the foundation of a successful relationship. But love alone won’t cut it if you want your relationship to last. There are a ton of other things that come into play, like being able to communicate, having similar values and goals, and being compatible.
It’s tempting to believe that if you love someone enough, everything else will just fall into place. But that’s just not how it works in real life. Love is just one piece of the puzzle, and without the other pieces your relationship can fall apart super fast.
In fact, research shows that relationships that are based solely on love and passion aren’t likely to last. While those first feelings of attraction and excitement are great, they’re not enough.
Don’t get me wrong, love important. But it’s just one piece of the puzzle.
If you want to build a strong, long-lasting relationship, both you and your partner need to commit to working on all the different aspects of your relationship, like communicating well, having shared goals, and building a life together.
Before You Leave
Relationships are messy and complicated. I know it sucks but it’s just how life works.
There’s no magical formula or set of rules that will guarantee a perfect partnership. While some common relationship advice might be well-intentioned, they also tend to oversimplify things, or even harm the people putting them into practice.
Instead of relying or cliches, focus on the core elements of a healthy relationship: communication, respect, and a willingness to work through challenges together.
Those are the things that make a relationship work. In the end, you and your partner know better than anyone else.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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