We recently ran a post by Dr. Mark Sherman—Should a Father Pretend not to Notice Beautiful Women When With his Young Son? — Are fathers doing their sons a disservice when they pretend to not notice attractive women?—and we noticed that the comments we what we anticipated. At the same time, they invite more questions.
Being a participatory media company, we want to hear your voice—or, in this case, read your story!
Do we want boys and men who force themselves not to look, or do we want boys and men who understand that physical is surface and love and sexual expression are deeper, emotional and complex?
What about the heteronormativity (assumptions that all sons are attracted to women) in the post? What happens when a father looks at a woman and the son can’t relate?
Here is a comment from a GMP member Danny:
But, when does a glance become a leer? Two or three seconds maybe?
A good question Lisa [other member commenting]. The problem is in all the talk of “don’t ogle women” “don’t stare at them” “don’t objectify women” the one thing that seems to always get left out is defining what’s acceptable and unacceptable. I’ve participating in past posts here on this topic and when a guy asked a question like “how long is too long” he would either be ignored or accused [of] trying to derail the conversation.
As a result the difference between a glance and a leer becomes a nebulous cloud where the difference is in constant flux. And without an actual answer every instance of a guy looking at a woman becomes fair game to be called leering.
So, how long is an acceptable glance at an attractive stranger/passerby? Is that length of time different for a person you know and who knows you?
How have you handled a similar opportunity for fathers to talk to their sons about relationships and sexual attraction?
What about distinguishing between sexual attraction based on evolutionary biology and the bond of a relationship?
Tell us your story!
The Good Men Project is different from most media companies. We are a “participatory media company”—which means we don’t just have content you read and share and comment on but it means we have multiple ways you can actively be a part of the conversation. As you become a deeper part of the conversation (Which really is “The Conversation No One Else is Having), you will learn all of the ways we support our Writer’s Community—community FB groups, weekly conference calls, classes in writing, editing platform building and more.
Here are more ways to become a part of The Good Men Project community:
Request to join our private Facebook Group for Writers—it’s like our virtual newsroom where you connect with editors and other writers about issues and ideas.
Click here to become a Premium Member of The Good Men Project Community. Have access to these benefits:
- Get access to an exclusive “Members Only” Group on Facebook
- View the website with no ads
- Get free access to classes, workshops, and exclusive events
- Be invited to an exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” with other Premium Members 4) Free commenting badge, listing on our Friends page, and more.
Are you stuck on what to write? Sign up for our Writing Prompts emails, you’ll get ideas directly from our editors every Monday and Thursday. If you already have a final draft, then click below to send your post through our submission system.
If you are already working with an editor at GMP, be sure to name that person.
Join our exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” — where community members are encouraged to discuss the issues of the week, get story ideas, meet other members and get known for their ideas? To get the call-in information, either join as a member or wait until you get a post published with us. Here are some examples of what we talk about on the calls.
Want to learn practical skills about how to be a better Writer, Editor or Platform Builder? Want to be a Rising Star in Media? Want to learn how to Create Social Change? We have classes in all of those areas. Classes are included free of charge with our $20 a year Gold Membership.
However you engage with The Good Men Project—you can help lead this conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Join us!
Photo credit: Flickr/Marco Guimelli