In a relationship, there are many parts that are important, and one of the most necessary components is appreciation. Your partner should not take you for granted, and neither should you. Instead, both of you need to respect and love each other. However, there are times when you just don’t feel appreciated in a relationship, even if you show respect to your partner.
Signs You’re Not Being Appreciated
Never Saying “Please” or “Thank You”
“Please and thank you are the magic words.” It’s a phrase a 4-year-old understands, so if your adult partner doesn’t seem to, then that’s a problem. If you’re always doing favors for your partner, but they don’t say “thank you,” or don’t say “please” when they need something, it may be a sign that you’re taken for granted.
You Never Get an Input in Plans
When it comes to making plans, both parties should make plans together. If your partner says that the two of you are going out to eat, but doesn’t even ask you, then it’s a sign that they may not appreciate you much. Even if you didn’t mind the plan, the decent thing to do is to ask your partner if you want to do it.
No Intimate Moments
If your partner never does anything romantic with you, and you have to put in all the work, this is a sign that they may not appreciate you as much. With the exception of them being afraid of touch, of course.
You Always Have to Be the One to Initiate Conversation or Make Dates
If you’re early into the relationship, one red flag is if you are the one who puts in all the effort. If you never text them first, they’ll never text you back. Meanwhile, you’re the one who always has to go see them, and it’s never the other way around. A one-sided relationship can be a sign that you’re not appreciated, or that the person is seeing others.
They Never Ask for Your Advice or Thoughts
If your partner is always asking other people for help, or for their thoughts on an issue, but never you, this could be a sign they don’t appreciate you. Exceptions do apply; for instance, if your partner is a scientist and you’re not, but for the most part, your opinion matters too.
They Get Annoyed Over Your Emotions
In love, not all days are going to be good. There are some days where you’re going to feel sad, angry, tired, and so on. In a good relationship, partners will show compassion if one is experiencing negative emotions. Meanwhile, a poor relationship will be one where the other person doesn’t care how the other feels, or gets annoyed when the emotions are less than desirable.
They’re Dishonest
Finally, if someone isn’t honest with you, this means they don’t appreciate you. A lack of honesty in a relationship can be the ultimate sign of disrespect, especially if there is infidelity involved.
What Can You Do About it
If you’re feeling unappreciated in a relationship, it can be hard for you to know what to do. Some people will say to leave the relationship, but it’s not always so easy. Sometimes, you may still love your partner, and this lack of appreciation is a recent occurrence. Here is what you can do about it.
Tell Your Partner How You Feel
Confronting your partner about how you feel is always a good first step, but you do want to make sure you do it the right way. Do it when both of you are in a normal mood, and don’t let your emotions get the better of you. This isn’t to say you can’t show emotions at all, but you don’t want to be screaming at your partner.
Make sure to say “I don’t feel appreciated,” and not “You are never appreciative enough.” Accusatory language can make someone be defensive, but by showcasing how you feel, it can make your partner see the other side. Sometimes, your partner may not be aware of their actions and could clean up their act.
Learn to Love Yourself
Besides telling your partner about how you feel, one thing you should do is to learn to love yourself. Instead of showing someone else appreciation, learn to appreciate yourself. Treat yourself, give yourself a chance to improve, and you’ll feel much better as a result.
Seek The Help of a Couples Counselor
If telling how you felt to your partner didn’t work, you may think you should just end the relationship. However, don’t give up yet. Sometimes, it can be hard to express your emotions or get to your partner. If your relationship has been going on for a while, why not try to seek help from a couples counselor?
This is a counselor who works with relationships, and they can be a good middle person. A counselor can explain how you feel to your partner in a way you can understand, and everyone can work together to come up with solutions.
You may find that with couples therapy, even the most ungrateful partner can become a little more appreciative.
End the Relationship
Finally, if you’ve tried everything, remember that life is too short not to be appreciated, and you should find someone who does appreciate you. It may be time to move on. Moving on can help you find someone who does love you, and it can help you find ways to show appreciation towards yourself.
This should be a last resort, particularly in a long-term relationship. However, you should also not let a partner abuse you and you shouldn’t give them multiple chances.
In Conclusion
Appreciation isn’t a one-way street. If your partner doesn’t seem to care about you and it seems like you’re being taken for granted, it’s important to get to the bottom of it and try to fix it. Or, end the relationship if possible.
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