When Things Are Looking Grim, Spend Time With People Who Make You Laugh

I’ve spent the past week obsessing over a piece of writing I knew in my heart I would never end up publishing. It was about the Canadian Trucker’s Convoy, currently being called the “Freedom Convoy,” in which a band of Canadians set out on a cross Canada road trip to protest vaccine mandates in Ottawa.

I don’t support the protest simply because I fear what getting rid of COVID protocols will do to our already fragile healthcare system. In the piece I’ve been struggling over, I say a lot more than that, and much of it is in a sarcastic, frankly mean vein.

It’s one of those pieces that no matter how much you tinker, it doesn’t sound right. It doesn’t feel complete even after typing that last period. The voice of the piece simply isn’t mine.

This is the problem with social media when a large-scale event breaks. There is so much content feeding us the juicy news we crave; it’s nearly impossible to sit back in quiet and think, hey, how do I actually feel about this?

The noise of outrage deafens us.

• People are outraged to lose their jobs because they choose not to get vaccinated.
• I am outraged that so many Canadians don’t care about our healthcare system.
• Nancy is outraged that her kid must wear a mask to school.
• And the TicTokkers, man alive, everything in the known universe outrages those guys.

By 3 p.m. on Monday, I felt so depressed, anxious and drained that I went and laid down after work and didn’t wake up until 6 a.m. Tuesday. There is something direly wrong when you sleep for 15 hours, and you weren’t even tired in the first place.

Social media got me, and she got me good, folks.

I have very close family members calling themselves a “voice in the movement” per the Freedom Convoy. I understand their plight and have always encouraged people to protest peacefully but, I can’t agree with this cause.

I know too many immunocompromised children and have friends who work in hospitals right here in my city that are drowning due to our already faltering system.

So, when difficult questions start to arise like, who are these people supporting this, the depression sets in. I become hopeless and unable to achieve even the simplest tasks. My bed is my best friend and my other best friend, my dog, is now magically allowed in the bed so I can spoon her and pretend that I’m not drowning in thousands of worries that I’m too chicken to address.

Ah, mental health, where have you gone?

Upon waking up Wednesday morning and sadly putting the kids’ lunches together, I pep-talked myself into doing three things. This is my usual goal when the crushing jackhammer of anxiety sets about nailing me to the boards relentlessly.

I tell myself that I must achieve three simple tasks.

Usually, they are so simple that any “normal” person would be like, “Look bitch you need to get your life together if you can’t handle this simple shit.” It’s a good thing that I don’t allow normal people into my brain, because that’s straight up bully behavior.

Here was Wednesday’s list:

1. Take the dog for a walk — Check! Even though it was freezing outside!
2. Wax my mustache, or do something to make sure I can still feel things. This is a legit helpful tactic, you guys. It sounds crazy, and maybe it is a little crazy, but it really helps.
3. Say hi to the group.

Number 3, that was the biggie. It is difficult for me to reach out to people when I feel this way. Of course, because I’m a people pleaser when someone texts or messages me, I could be huddled in an empty bathtub stress-eating cold nachos in the fetal position, and I’d be all like, “Hey girl, what’s up? What can I help you with!”

It’s a problem.

But reaching out to my friends is like Everest to me. Luckily my wonderful pal Eric Pierce had recently published an article of mine in his publication Fanfare. That was my ticket to get a conversation rolling.

Yes, my brain is so evil that it tells me I need some sort of imaginary ticket to talk to my friends online. Guh.

I asked them about their thoughts on the convoy and then shared my newest story. These fantastic and oh so intelligent humans gave me honest answers that were perceptive and well poised. They also made jokes — which is pretty much the best thing ever in my books.

Have I mentioned how much I love being friends with writers?

By interacting in a quick comment thread with them, I realized that not everything that comes from social media is bad for my eyes and brain. It’s all about curating your feed to hold the people who not only make you feel good but can also push you to think in different ways.

These people in my writing group come from various countries and from all different backgrounds — some of them didn’t even know about the Freedom Convoy, which made me so happy to hear because it reminds me that this world is a vast place with so many events happening every minute of every day.

I believe that everyone’s mental health needs are different, so I try not to post about a one-size-fits-all approach. Still, having a group of people you can trust as well as laugh with, is something truly extraordinary.

It’s modern day magic.

So now that I’m way past my word limit for WCW (and one day late in posting), I will tell you that I’m doing something different this week. Rather than featuring one writer, I’m going to add a little list of some happy-go-lucky posts from these guys — you know, just in case you’re in need of curating your feeds for happiness today as well.

I 10/10 recommend reading them because if you’re anything like me, good people and funny reads can help immeasurably in desperate times.

I truly am so grateful to have such a wonderful writing community. The world has sort of gone bananas these past few years and I find myself feeling overwhelmed, burnt out and often too tired of the bullshit to even try to create anything myself.

Maybe that’s the problem with being a creative in an ever increasing world of fuckery — our poor sensitive souls just can’t take this kind of nonstop stimulation.

But I’ve never complained about nonstop stimulation before, so, nah, that can’t be it.

What I do know is having a small corner on the internet available to read funny, uplifting and insightful tales is often what it takes for me to rekindle that creativity and remind myself that I really am among friends here.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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